Chernobyl Diaries (2014) - "Google Kitty Box for People"
Chernobyl Diaries is a found footage horror movie.
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Chernobyl Diaries
[:[00:00:22] Scott: Does this hold up? And just what the hell is a good movie anyway? I'm Frank Roll. I'm Scott Moran. And we're the Last Video Store Clerks. What
[:[00:00:41] Scott: on who makes it the longest? Uh, it's like 40, 50, 50 a day.
[:[00:00:46] Frank: on your nuts by a viper in a pit surrounded by billionaires.
[:[00:01:07] Frank: Mmm, you know, I started something on Amazon the other day and it still didn't have
[:[00:01:21] Frank: living room So I freaked out and hit like cancel or back or whatever.
[:[00:01:25] Scott: the payment thing Yeah, you're gonna pay eventually, but
[:[00:01:30] Scott: that
[:[00:01:35] Scott: right now. Let's be fair. The decision is made I mean I can postpone shit.
[:[00:01:55] Frank: told her about it. Yeah, I haven't had time to watch a lot of shit.
[:[00:02:03] Scott: And because we were comfort stuff is weirdly stressful. Yeah.
[:[00:02:13] Scott: show. Yeah. Is it good? I like
[:[00:02:18] Frank: But I figured because what we were watching this week, I was like, why not?
[:[00:02:25] Frank: I know what's coming way back. I can see the whole, you know, how
[:[00:02:33] Frank: It was a failed systems test.
[:[00:02:40] Frank: know when I searched like this movie this week, everything that popped up, like I'd seen almost everything like I was
[:[00:02:51] Frank: I might also have seen it. Can't make that a column, but it's there.
[:[00:02:57] Scott: We've been re watching iZombie, which I love. Oh! Rob Thomas, not the lead singer of Max Fox 20. She
[:[00:03:04] Scott: and she's handsome! He is in it and he does get eaten by zombies at one point. Oh, fuck. Because they make the joke. Not that Rob Thomas.
[:[00:03:15] Scott: but he is in it. He does make an appearance.
[:[00:03:38] Scott: Hmm. It's uh, is a Netflix series. Okay. Cartoony pirate live action thing.
[:[00:03:47] Scott: Yes, very recently. It was like the number one thing on Netflix for a while. Cool. Which was what kind of made me be like, ah, that doesn't look like something I would like, but I'm interested in why this is so popular.
[:[00:04:12] Frank: get scary, so don't
[:[00:04:18] Scott: That's why I, like, avoid, like, when she's watching, like, Gossip Girl and shit like that, cause I will get sucked into anything. Gossip Girl, man. I don't get I invest in the shittiest characters ever. No problem. Like a bunch of hateable people? Get bring it on. You like Chuck Bass. No. No. Hate that haircut.
[:[00:04:45] Frank: never heard that before. In a big way. Like, that's not the reason that most people would say.
[:[00:04:53] Scott: Been watching Ghosts. I've been watching Jon Stewart host The Daily Show on Mondays. I haven't watched. Okay. Man, it feels really good. Yeah. Feels like, I didn't realize that, like, that had gone on my whole life until he went away. You know? His entire run of The Daily Show, I pretty consistently watched it all the time.
[:[00:05:24] Frank: back in the day, because for a while you had Jon Stewart and Colbert, remember?
[:[00:05:28] Scott: Bam. Do you remember on September 11th when we got released from high school and went home? The Daily Show still aired that day. He did it anyway. I was
[:[00:05:39] Scott: Because you were a
[:[00:05:43] Frank: You had satellite, you know what I mean?
[:[00:05:50] Frank: o'clock. Look, I had a PS2 in my room. I was good. I had GTA 3. That's what I was probably doing that evening. No, actually, I think I went to Austin. I think we got shit faced. I
[:[00:06:04] Scott: Because we were just the only two people we could get a hold of. To talk about yeah, we were like, okay, let's do this and then just watched 24 hour news But I remember around the time I got off the phone with him The Daily Show came on and I watched it and he did it Anyway, like he was like, how do you be funny today?
[:[00:06:25] Frank: think oh I did do Letterman that night I believe
[:[00:06:29] Frank: comedy stuff. Yeah, if Letterman wasn't night of it was the next night Wow Thanks for
[:[00:06:38] Scott: And then Jon Stewart's just hosting once a week. Like I can keep up with that.
[:[00:06:48] Scott: I did notice that they acted like he was
[:[00:06:55] Scott: like, I feel like the reason he had to stop was because of how full force that was.
[:[00:07:09] Frank: be exhausting. He's been out there doing the thing, you know?
[:[00:07:21] Scott: Oh my goodness. Yeah. Cause he had the once a week show called The Problem with Jon Stewart. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And they didn't renew it, I guess, but it was because he wanted to talk about China. It's a news thing, you know? I was late to
[:[00:07:35] Scott: I mean, it doesn't have that much stuff.
[:[00:07:42] Frank: my subscription. Well, that makes it even worse. I could have just already knocked it out. What I was interested in. For sure. We watched
[:[00:07:51] Scott: I know. Oh. What just happened? Hello? That was weird. That was really weird. I don't think we cut out. I think it was just our headphones. The, the cell phone. Was this solar
[:[00:08:05] Scott: Was it? Yeah. It was a solar flare. Oh my
[:[00:08:09] Scott: Knocked out AT& T only. The worst cell phone network.
[:[00:08:13] Frank: they confirm it was a
[:[00:08:22] Frank: Okay, you know. I'm not saying aliens did it, but I swear to shit, like, I experienced, like, lost time today. In like the weirdest way possible.
[:[00:08:50] Frank: It was the weirdest thing because it's not like I talked to anybody in that time, like even passing by. So I couldn't even confirm like, Hey, do you remember what time I got? I don't know. Fuckin goin crazy.
[:[00:09:10] Frank: time I play paddle ball,
[:[00:09:12] Scott: You were sexually assaulted by a group of children. How do you prosecute that? If, uh, like a group of, like, ten seven year olds gang rape you, and you're a full grown man. They were
[:[00:09:23] Scott: kids! Anyway, I didn't watch too much else. Ghosts, it's back on. Okay. My, uh, Nathan Philly and Cop show, that's back on.
[:[00:09:32] Frank: I do want to brag. Apparently, right now, it's going around.
[:[00:09:43] Frank: From what I've seen, 28 Days Later is on no streaming service, and like, you can't buy like a hard copy of it anywhere, and it's become this thing because people are freaking out they're like, why can't you find 28 Days Later?
[:[00:09:57] Scott: heard anything about this? Well, they're gonna make 28 Days Later. Years later or whatever well, so
[:[00:10:09] Scott: I Actually have it on DVD and I have it on UMD.
[:[00:10:26] Frank: Did that have the disc with
[:[00:10:33] Frank: seeing those at like GameCrazy
[:[00:10:35] Scott: Yeah. Because I never had it. It was a PSP thing. Got it. Okay. I had a PSP and then I don't have one anymore. I think I sold it to somebody.
[:[00:10:48] Scott: Never did it. I still have a Vita, the second generation of it, the digital one.
[:[00:10:53] Frank: that was a thing. Damn,
[:[00:11:14] Scott: It was terrible. It was awful. Yeah. Not a good thing, but it looked cool to have. I also had a stupid video game thing that was like, it had like a little mirror thing that was like one eye, but it didn't work at all. It was awful. And then I had, it came with Panzer Dragoon, which was like a Flying a Dragon game.
[:[00:11:34] Frank: I had that
[:[00:11:53] Scott: Oh, no. Like, it was just shapes. That, like, like, you, like, avoided, like, Pac Man sort of thing. But, like, in no way did it look like a Ninja Turtle. That would have been disappointing. But the, the outside of the game was All Ninja Turtle ed out. All Ninja Turtle ed out. Okay. And it was the old school one, but they all had red masks.
[:[00:12:29] Frank: Yeah, so this is a post February my found footage February
[:[00:12:41] Scott: It had
[:[00:12:52] Scott: most. I feel like it didn't land on any leaving soon lists.
[:[00:12:58] Frank: Like, it knew that I would want to watch
[:[00:13:03] Frank: Well, and how long was it on max? Do you remember seeing it on? It was on max for
[:[00:13:11] Frank: I see recently. I think it went to prime or Hulu. It was back on something else, but then like that, like the 28 days later thing, I got it.
[:[00:13:21] Scott: to. Does anyone else wants to buy it on PSP? I will sell it to you for five dollars. Because it's just taking up space of my closet. I wonder what
[:[00:13:37] Frank: We're
[:[00:13:46] Frank: lot of places, it falls in the genre. It's the weirdest fucking
[:[00:13:56] Scott: There's a montage of, like, camera phone footage. And then later on, they find a video again. On a phone. On a phone.
[:[00:14:08] Scott: That's all it needs. This is just a regular ass movie. This is a regular ass movie where regular ass things happen where they're like shooting through the windshield and then they turn around and the shot cuts immediately and there's no one filming through the windshield this is not no one found this footage a handheld camera is just a camera just means that you couldn't afford To put it on rails, no crane shots, and there were crane shots in this, by the
[:[00:14:40] Frank: Yeah, it was 2012, so the drones were out there in full force.
[:[00:14:49] Frank: Chernobyl Diaries serves as a reminder to consider your extreme tourism destination carefully. If you're an American whose brother lives in Ukraine and wants to take you on a tour of Chernobyl with a guy named Yuri in his van, maybe check
[:[00:15:01] Scott: I mean, the van would be where I drew the line. Oh, whoa, whoa, It
[:[00:15:11] Scott: know, tough. I mean, the distributor cap is inside the car.
[:[00:15:21] Frank: And didn't you have that one relative with like that one really big van back in the day, have like the fuzzy seats with the wood everywhere.
[:[00:15:36] Scott: Yeah. It had the little TV VCR combo in the ceiling. This one had
[:[00:15:52] Scott: Nothing worse than in your car in high school.
[:[00:15:57] Scott: you touch any of the inside of the car, it burned you. Yeah,
[:[00:16:02] Scott: It like smelled like the
[:[00:16:19] Frank: The clueless adventurers make their way to the abandoned city of Pripyat and the highly contaminated Chernobyl nuclear power plant. They find themselves caught up in a mutant nightmare full of bad decisions and a lack of personal protection. I've seen this movie several times and, you know, like we were saying, I just I'm confused because I remember it being found footage.
[:[00:16:38] Scott: I thought it was from the trailer. So I thought you knew I thought you had it And that's, if you look it up. That's what happens when you go outside the bounds of found footage February from Frank. And that's
[:[00:16:52] Frank: There's like promotions. Things kind of, they dump it in the genre, in the genre. You know what I
[:[00:17:22] Frank: You know, maybe
[:[00:17:31] Scott: Uh, Chernobyl diaries was released on May 24th, 2012, and it grossed 42 million worldwide. Not bad for this
[:[00:17:49] Scott: I mean of what we did for sure the monster.
[:[00:18:16] Scott: This was the Hills have eyes. In a fallout zone,
[:[00:18:40] Frank: Like they, it brought out some feelings. It's just a regular ass bear. The bear was mentioned several times. People remembered the fucking
[:[00:18:55] Frank: foot? No. So that was a fire. Okay. Like somebody is supposed to be, you know, abandoned. Well, somebody was just there with a fire recently.
[:[00:19:04] Scott: fucking weird. Well, I didn't catch that. I thought it was a smoldering bear poo. No, because I was like, what was that? Somebody smear with his foot. And then I was like, Oh, a bear.
[:[00:19:15] Scott: had made a fire. I thought maybe it was smoking. Cause it was nuclear bear shit.
[:[00:19:26] Scott: So you've really taken away the best part of the movie for me. You were
[:[00:19:32] Scott: shit. I thought it like collapsed like ash. Nah,
[:[00:19:39] Frank: We're not alone. And maybe he had an idea that it had been overrun by something else.
[:[00:19:49] Frank: Mutants and there wasn't even like nuclear sludge in this You know, there's like a staple of the eighties nuclear movies. Remember the toxic waste? Everything
[:[00:20:01] Scott: Like people were burying barrels
[:[00:20:08] Scott: ooze. Yeah. Secret. Secret.
[:[00:20:13] Scott: Directed by Bradley Parker, this film was welcomed with mixed reviews. By mixed reviews, I mean mostly negative. This is not a standard found footage movie.
[:[00:20:41] Frank: are cheaper over
[:[00:20:44] Scott: Yeah. That's where they make cranes, right? It's like iPhone Ukraine. What the fuck? Is that controversial? Is there a
[:[00:20:56] Scott: there? There is no recovered video in this movie. Bradley Parker went on to work on some big budget, big name shit. What exactly, though? Dude,
[:[00:21:06] Frank: You
[:[00:21:08] Frank: don't like this guy? I mean, no. I mean, is that the cut of his jib? Look at some of those.
[:[00:21:23] Scott: Okay. No, keep going. Loki production assistant, visual effects for Ad Astra. No, man, he's, he Uh, Planet of the Monkeys, I mean the apes.
[:[00:21:38] Scott: of the Planet of the Apes. Oh, was that the third one? Yeah, with the, the guy from No, it wasn't the guy from the Americans.
[:[00:22:07] Scott: How many of those fucking movies are there? There's another one coming, I think. I know, I'm gonna watch it too. I like him. I
[:[00:22:19] Scott: guy's done some stuff. See? Not directing. But? Mostly just work. Visual effects work.
[:[00:22:26] Frank: is on there. Look, man. But see? See? That's a pretty good resume.
[:[00:22:35] Frank: Look, man, don't talk bad about red planet. Okay.
[:[00:22:43] Frank: like it. I just didn't want to get into it and it's okay. We're into it. I can tell you'd rather get more into him than he would this movie.
[:[00:23:08] Frank: She was filler anyway.
[:[00:23:18] Scott: He is
[:[00:23:22] Scott: like the Russian guy. I looked him up. He's like Russian guy in everything.
[:[00:23:34] Scott: crazy.
[:[00:23:37] Frank: credits. Yeah, he's like the video, the video game equivalent to that guy who's like the crazy Russian in Armageddon. Who's still riding that train, I feel like.
[:[00:23:54] Scott: Not, uh, much better. Uh, well, sure. Sure, buddy. Mm hmm. You did it. And an iffy 5 on IMDb, what does that mean? An iffy 5. Is that a 4. 8?
[:[00:24:19] Frank: It says five, but you're like, is it like just that one decimal? Like
[:[00:24:29] Frank: tipped well, and so I, when I look at it, I see like the 4.9, 7, 7, 6, 6, 8, 8, 8, 8, 9. You know what I mean? You see the repeating. I, it's, it's probably right there. It's got a, a three with a bar.
[:[00:24:45] Scott: you not, I'm not gonna disagree. Yeah. Uh, this is a, a solid 5. 5. 0. That's what I give it. Out of 10. Or 11.
Uh,
[:[00:25:02] Frank: Shame they didn't find it. That was, I liked it. Little vague, but You know, it seemed fitting and I remember this being so much cooler, but then looking at what year it came out, 2012, this is, it's older now. There's been a lot that has been through this
[:[00:25:23] Scott: Yeah. Okay. So, I
[:[00:25:31] Scott: you were like, this isn't a found footage movie.
[:[00:25:41] Scott: It's because you love Chernobyl, you fucking weirdo.
[:[00:25:49] Scott: Geotormenta. How many times have you watched Geotormenta?
[:[00:25:54] Scott: I've started it. Probably three is what I
[:[00:26:00] Frank: I've started it. I can't tell you how many times. Just because I'm like, I'll go to sleep to that shit.
[:[00:26:04] Frank: as five. Remember when the booster goes haywire in the cargo bay? I've never seen that movie. Oh my gosh, you have to see Geostorm.
[:[00:26:18] Scott: Uh But we did talk about it. I think Gerard Butler was the thing that I was like, nah. Nah. I mean, I don't trust him anymore.
[:[00:26:36] Scott: again? So it starts as a found footage.
[:[00:26:45] Scott: what was the song? I think it was a song. Is it? I didn't remember it at all.
[:[00:26:52] Scott: Get Me to Do. I don't even remember. Because it ends with a Marilyn Manson song.
[:[00:27:00] Frank: but I've never heard that song. As soon as I heard it, I was like, oh yeah, I've heard this. At the end of this movie before ,
[:[00:27:17] Frank: Captain Howdy? We watched that at the lake house so I don't really remember it. Cause it was, Jesus. Yeah. But the soundtrack was great. First time I ever heard Eminem. He did a track with Kid Rock. With
[:[00:27:33] Frank: end. That was the first time I ever
[:[00:27:40] Scott: You're playing with your paper too much, sir. Okay, sir. I can hear
[:[00:27:44] Scott: mark on the board. Oh, I just realized what it was. Cause I keep being like, what the fuck is that sound? Well, I'm like editing the podcast. And I just realized I was like, oh, it's him fucking with his goddamn outline. I'm Twitchy tonight.
[:[00:27:57] Frank: your shit down. Twitchy, I forgot my wallet and the new mic, by the way. So, it's just an Out of Whack kind of
[:[00:28:09] Frank: d d buttered nuts,
[:[00:28:18] Scott: Well, in
[:[00:28:21] Scott: uh, Not a found footage movie.
[:[00:28:36] Scott: I did look him up, and yes, because I was like, which person does Frank know? Because who I knew was the blonde girl.
[:[00:28:47] Frank: And you know what's funny? She was in one of the Paranormal Activity movies, which is found footage. But then, did you ever see the Vatican tapes? Did you see that on her list? Okay, so. I don't think I've watched that. It's creepy, but I don't think it's found footage.
[:[00:29:01] Scott: cousin's sister's brother. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ant man. Ha ha
[:[00:29:13] Scott: Scientologist. No! Yeah. No!
[:[00:29:24] Scott: So this guy lives in The Ukraine already. The brother Paul. And he sets the Chernobyl tour up for the visiting
[:[00:29:34] Scott: yes. Also the, the gang of hooligans. Let's, let's go to the, the gang of hooligans. You wanna go to the gang of hooligans? That just bumps into them. Okay. When they're walking.
[:[00:29:44] Scott: Uh, I thought they were gonna come back at some point. It seemed like a weird plot point to have. Other than to make everybody seem like they were kind of, uh Was it to point out that he spoke the language?
[:[00:30:06] Scott: sense.
[:[00:30:14] Frank: One of the big complaints, um, a lot of people said this had no
[:[00:30:30] Scott: The only person I really felt bad for was, uh, the not blonde girl. Yeah. Because we had two blondes and a brown, which you never see that. Amanda. Amanda. Of course she's an Amanda, too. She had the most sense of anyone. She did. And, and that was the thing, was the acting wasn't bad. At all.
[:[00:30:53] Frank: You'd seen them in things. You know what I mean?
[:[00:31:04] Frank: he was one of the fucking chipmunks.
[:[00:31:08] Frank: one. Fucking, that was Theodore in this movie,
[:[00:31:16] Frank: Oh, man. He's got such a broad range
[:[00:31:22] Scott: I like the fish the
[:[00:31:26] Scott: it the Simpsons fish
[:[00:31:39] Scott: I didn't understand if They got bit when they fell in or they just cut themselves and they were in an irradiated body
[:[00:31:47] Frank: Yeah, I mean, just being in the water, well, closer to the top you are the safer
[:[00:32:05] Scott: Was the dead one, yeah. I wanted the other ones to look like fuckin lickers from Resident Evil. Perfect.
[:[00:32:15] Scott: skull.
[:[00:32:20] Scott: you, man. The Aussie red shirts, uh, kind of upset me cause I liked them. They were like those guys.
[:[00:32:30] Frank: He was high up there on the casting bill. Easy going guy.
[:[00:32:38] Frank: professional. Nobody corrected him and that made it to the final cut.
[:[00:32:47] Scott: I
[:[00:32:52] Scott: How many children have you seen holding guns? Like toy guns.
[:[00:32:59] Scott: with toy guns. When my, my daughter plays with my handgun.
[:[00:33:06] Frank: So many more toy guns, dude. Oh, yeah. And yeah, I had some before the orange
[:[00:33:18] Frank: Prep. Prep. I just looked down and saw bear shit. Of all the things that I looked down for, it was the bear shit. I put a question
[:[00:33:30] Scott: Yeah. You think it was a fire.
[:[00:33:35] Scott: they come across. Yeah. Yeah. That was cool. Yeah, but the intrigue of it was kind of forced. Mm hmm. Oh the Gunshots came from inside. Oh, that's guard uniform. They held out on the muties for too long
[:[00:33:54] Frank: I like
[:[00:34:09] Scott: You know, like it gets me in that way where I'm like, dude, I don't like
[:[00:34:16] Scott: the Sloth love junk
[:[00:34:28] Scott: a Superman shirt, yeah Comes out of
[:[00:34:40] Scott: shit and so Backtracking all the way from the mutants. Did one of them sabotage the vehicle?
[:[00:34:55] Frank: it within eyes view, you know, like don't leave that area in the, I mean, if it's just drive to the next building, you know, drive some, I don't know. I wouldn't have left my shit. I don't know if I'd go somewhere that like.
[:[00:35:08] Scott: mean? You mean you wouldn't cross into like, like an irradiated total fuck
[:[00:35:26] Frank: And they were like, Hey, Hey, you said it wasn't going over this. They're like, get us the fuck
[:[00:35:32] Frank: here. Yeah. I mean, we got enough to worry about just day to day. I mean, chips. Yeah. You don't know what the chips are going to I
[:[00:35:38] Scott: I mean, I'm not putting it in the back pocket. Makes my butt look flat. Women
[:[00:35:46] Scott: don't know. Not me. I'm a front pocket carrier. Oh,
[:[00:35:49] Scott: I mean, that's closer to the junk. I carry my wallet in the front pocket now. Oh,
[:[00:35:54] Frank: What made that
[:[00:36:05] Frank: tonight. I don't even have my wallet. Like I came all the way over here without a fucking wallet. I don't know
[:[00:36:10] Scott: Yeah. My wallet's a fucking beast. You have like a dad wallet. I, I've had a dad wallet. If you took the shit out of your wallet that you don't need, your wallet would not be able to contain anything because it's so stretched out. Funny
[:[00:36:23] Scott: it out? And then just had this like floppy thing that your credit cards fall out of?
[:[00:36:28] Frank: mean it's been emptied out a couple times and this is how big it still is. Well, that's how big it still is.
[:[00:36:42] Frank: I know. I've got the thing with receipts.
[:[00:36:46] Scott: We live in a paperless world, but I'm still weird about paper.
[:[00:36:54] Scott: evening. Lucaderm, a German engineering.
[:[00:37:22] Frank: of those guards. I think it was supposed to be one of the checkpoint guards specifically.
[:[00:37:30] Frank: like that's where the other piece went. Or it could have been another guard, different situation than the last stand bus.
[:[00:37:45] Scott: On the way
[:[00:37:48] Scott: whatever they were searching for. I feel like, uh, if you're making that journey, the first time you cross that bridge, probably part of the plot. You know, we gotta stop the dogs from following them somehow. You gotta separate them from the dogs.
[:[00:38:05] Frank: Zoe was filler. Sorry, Zoe. Yeah, just the whole thing like you were saying Michael was likable
[:[00:38:18] Frank: trust.
[:[00:38:27] Scott: find uh, that was creepy And it's
[:[00:38:35] Scott: the 80s. But they really just used her as like a, uh huh.
[:[00:38:44] Frank: smart. Too damn smart. So yeah, Michael, they fuck him over, huh? For such a good guy, such a helper. Paul's just like, oh, we're in. Shutting the door. Thanks for busting it loose, Michael.
[:[00:39:02] Frank: And, uh, well, and they're not zombies. Like, they're people just mutated.
[:[00:39:14] Frank: bit of that. The head snap though. Did you every now and then did you like the oh the crawler like when he finds the ring later the crawler?
[:[00:39:28] Scott: Oh barbarian
[:[00:39:37] Frank: That's barbarian Yes, is that what you just said? I just said fuck man Did I lose time again? Tonya, something's off. You radiate it. I think that solar flare hit me as well. That's the chip. It's private. We're doing
[:[00:40:03] Scott: Primeco.
[:[00:40:09] Frank: you sold on Paul's crying?
[:[00:40:13] Frank: Paul did not need to cry. Paul did not need to cry. He's not the kind of guy who cries. No, he's not the brother that cries. He's, he's the guy who slams Michael out of the safe place.
[:[00:40:29] Scott: And his girlfriend was like, or was she the girlfriend or she was just the friend of the Amanda? The
[:[00:40:40] Scott: Natalie. Natalie. Natalie. Yes. It was Natalie's friend. No one in this whole movie, except for Chris, can I remember their name?
[:[00:41:01] Frank: if it was a solar flare, man, I'm thinking I got zapped. I'm thinking something's weird. I'm one with the earth.
[:[00:41:11] Scott: Like with coffee? I shit in a bowl. And then I bury
[:[00:41:21] Scott: Sometimes I wish I had one of those Indian squat toilets, you know? Like they have in like, India and Thailand and stuff. They take your pants off toilet.
[:[00:41:33] Scott: uh You talking about an outhouse? I don't want an outhouse. I'm from West Virginia, dude. I've used some fuckin outhouses.
[:[00:41:46] Frank: Like a chemical toilet?
[:[00:41:50] Frank: A bucket. Sawdust, but it's not. It's like the, it's like cat litter for people.
[:[00:42:00] Frank: I wonder if I
[:[00:42:04] Frank: What happens if you Google kitty box for people?
[:[00:42:12] Frank: Oh, nothing weird popped up. I was hoping when you Google kitty box for people, it would just be like insanity.
[:[00:42:24] Frank: It takes a small sample and within 30 to 45 minutes you get. Excellent results. So the mutants, were they people that had been there and just refused to leave and developed over time? They would have
[:[00:42:38] Scott: Well,
[:[00:42:44] Scott: They must've gone down in the tunnels. So you've
[:[00:42:58] Scott: You know, go to the tunnels with your kin The taxes don't line up how you are tunnel whore. Here is your bell Put it on your neck. Why did they want these people so much? Was it for their meat or was it, uh, you know, like, why, why are they killing? Like, just because they're
[:[00:43:21] Frank: Like, why don't you just wipe it? Wipe them out, you know cleanse.
[:[00:43:28] Frank: end the movie with like the soldiers driving off But then like as the vehicles drive off the little girls just standing there in the distance and you're like, oh
[:[00:43:37] Frank: things pointing
[:[00:43:49] Scott: Um, why, why so mean to her? A man, duh, a man, duh. You don't like that name? It's not your favorite name. Well, Amanda and
[:[00:44:03] Scott: Burning. It's, it's all for the best.
[:[00:44:17] Frank: And then Paul just wouldn't listen to the Russians shouting at him. I mean, he knew the language. We
[:[00:44:23] Scott: Pretty dope radiation suits. Gotta say. The doctors? The doctors? The, the guy, the soldiers.
[:[00:44:34] Scott: shields. Part of the brotherhood. I liked the last shot though. I liked her disappearing into the, with the eyes.
[:[00:44:51] Frank: saw through it this time. I saw through the veil.
[:[00:44:57] Scott: Yuri, like, gets out. Finds help. No, he's fine. He didn't die at all. They just ate parts of him. Yeah, and Yuri comes up out of the woods. He's at the shop. Like a Cabin Fever ending? He's back at the tour place. And he's like, bringing another group. I would've taken that too.
[:[00:45:21] Scott: surplus of vans.
[:[00:45:31] Frank: sew up loose ends. I mean, like I said, this is why it's an Iffy 5 on IMDB. If you're watching it for the first time and you like horror movies, you might be like, that was pretty awesome.
[:[00:45:59] Scott: We'll call it a sci fi movie. But it's not a found footage movie. Because we're in March now, and it's the year I turned 40, March 2024. I am 40 years old.
[:[00:46:12] Scott: No. I'm going to fall asleep. Makes me tired. What about We're watching a movie called ARK! It's a Netflix original movie.
[:[00:46:46] Scott: What is
[:[00:46:52] Scott: Oh, this was right when Netflix started pumping them out. Really? That guy, man, that guy will do anything. He's one of those dudes. He's an upload. He's great. He's good. He's in the
[:[00:47:09] Scott: do it.
[:[00:47:22] Frank: quite a few, oh, yep.
[:[00:47:33] Frank: This guy was in the X Files reboot?
[:[00:47:38] Frank: Yeah. I didn't realize that. Ah, that's some
[:[00:47:46] Frank: Did you see Code 8? Code 8? Yeah. I saw that. Yeah. Not bad. He's
[:[00:47:52] Frank: Um, did He's in a lot of bullshit.
[:[00:48:00] Scott: But Ark, I would be interested in finding out if you have seen this. I also think this is a movie that if you have seen it, you don't remember.
[:[00:48:15] Scott: like this.
[:[00:48:32] Frank: trying to decide if I ever saw that cover.
[:[00:48:35] Scott: super familiar. It doesn't look like something you would just take a chance on.
[:[00:48:45] Scott: one and I think it gets forgotten. RQ. Yeah, I got some, some I got three lined up in my head that we're going to watch one of them.
[:[00:49:01] Frank: Okay. But you have them in mind. So until next found footage, February where. We'll do Chernobyl Diaries again to relive it.
[:[00:49:11] Scott: I know it's your month, but we're not doing this one. But the
[:[00:49:15] Scott: It's not handheld. You know, in the middle of watching this movie, I was like, telling Kelly, I was like, He's gonna tell me it's fucking handheld. But dude. And he's gonna put up quotes. Handheld. I put the And he wrote it in the summary.
[:[00:49:41] Frank: called 13 cameras 17 cameras? Did you ever see that one? It's got this creepy
[:[00:49:55] Frank: serve.
[:[00:49:59] Scott: Yeah, my love for you is making fuck berserker We got in this episode.
[:[00:50:08] Scott: again? Directed by Bradley Parker.
[:[00:50:22] Frank: com.
