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Published on:

14th Sep 2023

Super Mario Bros. (1993) - "Stop Fiddling the Fungus"

Super Mario Bros. (1993) was a staple of our childhoods. It's an amazing garbage fire, and before we watch the new Super Marion Bros movie next week, we thought we'd take a close look at this dinosaur.

Watch the Super Mario Bros (1993) Trailer Here

00:00:00 The Beanie Bubble, reminiscing and obligatory nonsense, Unsolved Mysteries

00:12:37 Our childhoods with Super Mario Bros. (1993)

00:13:24 Super Mario Bros. (1993) Summary and Discussion (Spoilers)

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Transcript
Super Mario Bros:

[00:00:00] Scott Moran: Welcome everyone to the Last Video Store Clerks podcast with Frank and Scott. The days of blockbuster Hollywood

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[00:00:10] Scott Moran: video store are over, but searching the shelves for that special overlooked movie will never end. The one that really sticks with you forever. Let's drown ourselves in a sea of streaming services and ask the question, what the fuck is that?

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[00:00:31] Frank: I don't know what this is.

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[00:00:47] Frank: stew. Pube stew. Man, it's kind of... Is it

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[00:00:54] Frank: I heard that once today, and I was like, that was in the news again, wasn't it? Saharan Dust? As soon as that left the person's mouth, I was like, must be on the news again. Because nobody's

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[00:01:06] Scott Moran: It's not COVID, it's Saharan Dust. If, yeah, if it's

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[00:01:16] Scott Moran: What? Chemtrails aren't real? I don't know, man. I'm on the fence. You're saying they're just water vapor?

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[00:01:29] Frank: The Blue Angels are evil. Not the Blue Angels, but they do tricks because I was inverted. You know, everybody talks about the Blue Angels. What about the Thunderbirds,

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[00:01:50] Frank: No, because, because we were watching two movies. Um, it was just a busy week.

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[00:01:59] Frank: watching two movies.

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[00:02:12] Scott Moran: I gotta get to bed before I have to poop again.

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[00:02:18] Frank: Um, not at

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[00:02:45] Scott Moran: Keith Raniere, by having Zach Galifianakis play him. Like, that should 100 percent happen. What did he say?

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[00:02:56] Scott Moran: wasn't Gaylord. Call me Gaylord. It was like, uh... Call me Prometheus? It wasn't Prometheus, but it was like... He was like...

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[00:03:08] Frank: Leviathan. Now come to my room. We have some extracurricular activities for after class. It's an exercise.

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[00:03:17] Frank: So I watched, um, I watched something on tie. Was it the dark side of the nineties had one about, um, because I just watched it because one of the things I'd like to give a shout out to a listener who's special in my heart, who thinks it's T Y beanie babies.

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[00:03:36] Scott Moran: form of denial. It's his name and he's a narcissist.

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[00:03:44] Scott Moran: Babies. Well, yeah. Sorry. His name is Ty. For anyone

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[00:03:48] Scott Moran: confused. It's a really interesting story because basically three women.

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[00:03:58] Frank: That website was like one of the first like chat rooms. Yeah,

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[00:04:12] Scott Moran: That's good. You almost think he's not Like, maybe he isn't a bad guy. It escalates. It was so good. I loved it.

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[00:04:24] Scott Moran: the young one. Are they still Thai Beanie

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[00:04:33] Frank: Yeah. But somebody still has the name for sure. They're everywhere. Walgreens. Jesus, man.

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[00:04:51] Scott Moran: And I was like, yes ma'am, the, they have one a day. Like, it's just one. You can go through a bunch of times. You're just gonna get the same one over and over again. And people did not, like, they thought you were lying. I forgot

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[00:05:04] Scott Moran: second. It was for four months, and then I bought, uh, like a pound of marijuana.

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[00:05:13] Frank: that one night we were drunk as shit, went to Denny's, and on the way back we stole a box of hamburger patties from McDonald's? And then we went and cooked them at that apartment at North Cross Apartments. Yes, I do. Yes. Mm hmm. We stole a box of McDonald's hamburger patties just from right in

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[00:05:29] Scott Moran: That was before I worked there. That was when somebody else worked there that we knew. That's what it was. And then I, uh... When I worked there, it was the Dinosaur Monopoly game with the... Butts and the heads

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[00:05:48] Scott Moran: a plate with nothing else.

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[00:05:52] Frank: size of the skillet? It was like a single patty

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[00:05:58] Frank: everybody acted like only that one person could cook it But I feel like honestly he was the only one who could Brown a patty. The

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[00:06:08] Scott Moran: It was him. Okay. Yep. Yeah. But he, like, I think it had a feather in it. Of course it

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[00:06:27] Frank: Today me would not accept that. Even at, like, the minimum level. You know?

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[00:06:49] Frank: Mario. Well, you know, I did want to say I did, I watched a few episodes of the new Unsolved Mysteries because they put new ones out a while back.

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[00:06:58] Frank: finally watched those? Well, I watched like the first season, most of them. Okay. But I think there's a second season

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[00:07:04] Scott Moran: Yeah. I got hung up on the, the creepy Tokyo one. I kept falling asleep. It was very tranquilizing.

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[00:07:13] Scott Moran: them in that order when I watch those. That's a good thing to do. Okay. That's a good thing to do. Uh, the new season was good, though. I enjoyed

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[00:07:20] Frank: I enjoy

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[00:07:29] Frank: No, the true crime ones, it's like a part of me forgets that the show is Unsolved Mysteries. And as someone who watched the original series, I'm like, you should really understand that you're not going to, you know, like, this is a fucking unsolved mystery.

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[00:07:47] Scott Moran: right. I appreciate it though. I tried to watch William Shatner's the unexplained unexplained. Yeah, and the segments were too short for me So the old unsolved mysteries format I think it only works in the context of time period and I needs to be a whole episode now The Shatner

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[00:08:04] Frank: Also,

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[00:08:19] Frank: See that so I believe that's when we were still like a TV watching family.

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[00:08:29] Scott Moran: like that was then. I would always feel incredulous when I was wrong, and I'd be like They fucking made that one up? Why would you even do that? But it was fun. Yeah. There's like a game show element to it.

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[00:08:42] Frank: anything, uh, like network TV in the evenings?

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[00:08:50] Frank: I want to try, last thing that kind of got me but it wasn't even like that was Goldbergs but that's not even really.

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[00:09:04] Frank: Dude that's the one time when I'm just fine with picking out one thing.

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[00:09:16] Frank: story, yeah. When I did that crazy drive to, uh, Indiana

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[00:09:23] Scott Moran: Yeah, I think I

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[00:09:41] Frank: Um, but, uh, you know, Swordfish, edited with commercials. You gotta experience it once, right? I

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[00:09:59] Frank: Did they still do

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[00:10:04] Scott Moran: Yeah. It's just for old people now. Like, most of the people watching live television are over 55.

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[00:10:22] Frank: Not paying for another fucking thing. I paid like 22 bucks one time. Digital antennas are amazing for that shit.

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[00:10:36] Frank: more and more. Well and Samsung has amazing options. There's a whole, there's

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[00:10:41] Frank: some shit.

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[00:10:45] Scott Moran: Yeah, sometimes when I want to get my, like, channel flippin fixed, that's what I go to. It's limited commercials, comparatively. Sometimes, with some of those, it's like the same fucking commercial, over and over again. So, like, within 20 minutes, you're crazy, and you're like, I'm not doing this.

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[00:11:00] Frank: It's like early 2000s television, when we had the cable box. And it was like a whole new world.

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[00:11:21] Scott Moran: The fuck do you have any other commercials?

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[00:11:31] Scott Moran: I know. I've fallen and I can't get up. Yeah, there's

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[00:11:35] Scott Moran: Come on now. Come on, make fun of that old lady.

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[00:11:40] Frank: You entertained like two generations at one time there for a while with that shit. You're really gonna let that fucking gold slip away? If you're winning, run with it. And you know what? I'm gonna point these papers at you aggressively one more time while I say stuff.

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[00:12:07] Frank: I guess, I guess I'm not fucking, I can't be fucking Anderson

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[00:12:13] Frank: Oh no, not Wolf either though. God, there's not really a good one though that I'd appreciate, but Anderson Cooper would be nice. I think

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[00:12:26] Frank: No, his is much more full and he's just got a different, no, go back to the Jake Tapper.

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[00:12:30] Scott Moran: Wolf Blitzer. No,

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[00:12:37] Scott Moran: I don't think I've seen this movie in easily 15 years. And the last time I watched this movie, it was on YouTube because no one cared. It's not right now. I looked before I bought this movie for 5 on DVD, brand new.

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[00:13:06] Frank: THE Super Mario Brothers, but Super

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[00:13:18] Scott Moran: Was it, was that how close it was? To give you time frame. I'm gonna want

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[00:13:24] Scott Moran: at me. I've got quite a bit, I cut myself off. But perhaps... You haven't watched Mario in a long time either, so we're gonna give you a little summary because you can't find Super Mario Brothers 1993 on a streaming service.

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[00:13:40] Scott Moran: 99? 5. 99, however, Super Mario Brothers from 1993 is getting a 4k release in Japan in theaters. What is it? I don't fucking know. What's

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[00:14:09] Frank: I don't want HD. It's fucked up looking. There's shit. That's like, does not look right because we were not supposed to see it like that. See what they did with Blade Runner. That's fucking respectable.

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[00:14:32] Scott Moran: That's why it looks like that. Uh huh That's not the only reason brother it gets much deeper.

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[00:14:48] Scott Moran: episode? Yes.

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[00:14:51] Frank: Because one of them will watch stuff ahead of time. Dude. I

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[00:14:59] Frank: Like, it didn't make money, and I'm like, Did it make money? Yeah, no, but was this movie

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[00:15:07] Frank: I said yes And I stood my ground because everybody talked about this I always go back to the previews that were on HBO when they when they had things as new

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[00:15:20] Scott Moran: I thought this

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[00:15:30] Scott Moran: it later. It had the pest and the guy from who framed Roger Rabbit. That's what I knew then.

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[00:15:41] Scott Moran: see this in the theater or anything.

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[00:15:48] Frank: match you on Bob though, up until this point. He was the one playing with the rabbit.

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[00:16:00] Scott Moran: I saw that in theaters. Although Fox, uh, Robin Hood. I had a crush on that Maid Marian when I was real little.

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[00:16:13] Scott Moran: gonna say it. The, the female rescue ranger as well. Had a thing for her too, when I was a

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[00:16:19] Frank: Well, okay, yeah, you went animal on both. Did you ever, do you remember Heathcliff? Yeah, remember her?

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[00:16:27] Frank: gonna fuckin Are you serious right now? Like, you, you throw two fuckin characters at me and I give you one that is like, I feel like way more and you're like, eh.

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[00:17:02] Frank: Dude smurfette That's a lot of guys in one village. You know what I mean?

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[00:17:14] Frank: the whole room was blue. Like I couldn't I couldn't step foot anywhere without getting blue shit all over my feet. So sticky. Try and get that out

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[00:17:25] Frank: have blue cum?

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[00:17:34] Scott Moran: I don't know. Gargamel is a sick fuck.

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[00:17:43] Scott Moran: everyone a summary of this movie in case you couldn't watch it recently.

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[00:17:55] Frank: Don't, don't ruin Howard the

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[00:18:06] Frank: Talked about it,

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[00:18:09] Frank: I'm gonna have to say, it's 2023. I bet it was somewhere between like, 05 and 08

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[00:18:20] Frank: than that. You know what I mean? I feel like it was when I had cable and it was on a channel and I was like super mario brothers You

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[00:18:28] Scott Moran: It was on there. No one cared Well,

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[00:18:43] Scott Moran: whole thing. It's one of those movies where I remember the configuration of our living room at the time.

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[00:18:49] Frank: You know what I mean? Yeah. You,

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[00:18:57] Frank: scene that I remember being in my room watching it on HBO for the preview and I was like,

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[00:19:06] Scott Moran: But I still remember being a little bit like,

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[00:19:22] Frank: But when Daisy takes Luigi to her archaeological dig site beneath the Brooklyn Bridge, she is kidnapped and dragged through a portal to an alternate universe. A universe created when the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs actually didn't kill the dinosaurs, but rather split the dinosaur world into a parallel universe that for whatever reason is a desert version of Earth with only a few blocks of Brooklyn inhabited by humanoids evolved from dinosaurs instead of apes.

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[00:19:58] Scott Moran: as a baby. And dropped her at a fuckin nunnery.

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[00:20:14] Scott Moran: earlier... Abandoned babies in my film history.

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[00:20:19] Frank: big thing back in the day, though.

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[00:20:28] Frank: Hold on. Let me find my olive branch later.

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[00:20:35] Frank: When, when they would fly and shit, how did it stay? Did they have some strings that we just couldn't see?

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[00:20:42] Frank: pixelated? Was it tucked into the crevasses of the thigh, meets the pelvic region? Or maybe it's

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[00:20:55] Frank: Uh, Reuniting the Fragment with the Asteroid will unify the world so Koopa can use his de evolution guns and army of Goombas to turn the human race back into apes and take over. Mario and Luigi cross to the other side to save Daisy, and apparently, the world.

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[00:21:19] Scott Moran: Annabelle Yonkle? Yonkle. And Rocky Morton, and the screenplay is credited to Parker Bennett, Terry Runt, Runtay, I didn't look up your names, and Ed Solomon. However, on closer inspection, the first draft of the movie was written by Barry Morrow, and was a road trip movie that strongly resembled Rain Man, his other movie that he wrote.

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[00:22:06] Scott Moran: Frenna. I don't know. Ian LaFrenna? LaFrenna. And then, when the film's distribution rights were picked up by Disney, the producers fired those two and hired Ed Solomon and Ryan Rowe to doctor the script to be family friendly. Because it was super dark, apparently. At this point. Like when Hoskins joined, it was a drama.

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[00:22:30] Frank: So he just was out there going with the flow, huh?

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[00:22:46] Scott Moran: There was so much fucking trivia for this movie that I just stopped writing it down.

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[00:22:57] Scott Moran: what's coming. There are so many podcasts. There are podcasts just dedicated to this movie that have multiple episodes just about this movie.

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[00:23:14] Frank: So, surprise, not surprise, I guess I could say. Holy shit. I mean, you watch it now, and man, imagine not seeing it. Years ago and watching it now for the first time, what would you think, you

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[00:23:26] Scott Moran: I kind of enjoyed watching it this time. In a, uh, wow kind of way. So the cast of this movie is Bob Hoskins as Mario, John Leguizamo as Luigi, Dennis Hopper as Koopa, President Koopa or King Koopa? Something like that. You know, he looked

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[00:23:49] Frank: He was just president a while back. He looks like that guy. It was scary how much he looked like him in a weird fuckin Like

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[00:23:58] Frank: 90s Trump? But, nah, like dinosaur

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[00:24:05] Frank: what he was, but Jesus, it was scary. I was like, fuck!

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[00:24:22] Frank: was also the plague in hackers. Yes. And I've got a theory. What's your theory? You want to hear that now? Yeah. So he was like evolved to like maximum intelligence, right?

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[00:24:44] Scott Moran: I mean, as far as film making goes, these movies could be in the same

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[00:24:57] Frank: And then he disappears. You know he

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[00:25:04] Frank: Because did he get arrested at the end of Hackers? So then maybe he served some time and then just, like, wound up on the boat. Or he somehow he got

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[00:25:16] Frank: friend?

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[00:25:25] Scott Moran: go for and is Indian Fisher Stevens an alternate universe Fisher Stevens Yeah,

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[00:25:33] Scott Moran: if it could happen to Superman Johnny

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[00:25:53] Frank: Biafra. He shares the same birthday as I do. He

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[00:26:02] Scott Moran: Because they wanted Tom Waits for this part. I can see

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[00:26:07] Scott Moran: fucking with your kid. I know. Um.

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[00:26:12] Scott Moran: again. You and Tom Waits? Nope. You and Tom Waits? Nope. Eat my peach, baby, blow on my

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[00:26:23] Frank: Like, somehow that was on IMDB. I was like, oh, he's got the same birthday as

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[00:26:32] Frank: looked so crazy this time around. The little

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[00:26:40] Scott Moran: Gianni Russo plays Anthony Scapelli. Francesca P. Roberts as Big Bertha, who was apparently added because there were no black people in this movie. No

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[00:26:54] Scott Moran: When we were nine. Yeah. Dawn Lake as Sergeant Simon. Not high on the cast list, but I'm gonna leave him in there, cause Dawn Lake...

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[00:27:19] Scott Moran: Yeah, which is weird because, like, Bowser is the... American name for King Koopa. And then Dan Castellaneta is the narrator, who is Homer Simpson's voice.

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[00:27:37] Scott Moran: also the voice The Simpsons, for sure.

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[00:27:45] Frank: that guy. Oh, yeah, no, I know his face. Yeah, believe me. He's, you know, was he the one who was in Godzilla? Matthew Broderick? I think that's the news

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[00:27:59] Scott Moran: 9 million against a 48 million budget. It was considered a flop. It's considered one of the worst movies of all time. And in 1993, we were fucking young and I loved this shit. I loved it. It was great.

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[00:28:27] Scott Moran: So the original idea for this movie was that it was supposed to be the story that inspires the video game. And then at the end of the movie, somebody was going to come. And get the rights to the story to make a video game out of it from the no. And that was what the plot was gonna be. So that was the way this was written, was

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[00:28:51] Frank: And

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[00:29:11] Frank: we may have mentioned it once or twice, but just as like, uh, we should do that sometime.

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[00:29:19] Scott Moran: It has been a long time since I watched this. And I remember the fungus being like so weird to me when I was a

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[00:29:35] Frank: On this recent

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[00:29:40] Frank: simply say, BOOSHUP! Hey, by the way though, I did want to make sure, uh, So, I was in a weird mood, I wanted to see, Do you know how many credits he has as an actor on IMDb? Lance Hendrickson? How many? Dude, he's one of those 264.

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[00:30:08] Scott Moran: maybe. Not to mention Millennium was a pretty

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[00:30:17] Frank: But, you know, and Danny Glover's one of those guys you're like, he's been in 130

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[00:30:32] Frank: episodes.

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[00:30:36] Scott Moran: of course, Carter, man. I love the Millennium. I tried. I always watched it back and back when it would cross over with the X Files. I loved that shit. I was so into it when I was younger.

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[00:30:50] Scott Moran: notes. I forgot that the baby comes out of an egg in the beginning of it.

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[00:30:55] Frank: like, oh, bless it all. Yeah, they

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[00:31:12] Scott Moran: Grant would wear and Saddler,

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[00:31:20] Scott Moran: and white. Yeah, and it didn't seem like her dig site was it was in a sewer tunnel under the Brooklyn Bridge and a 90s

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[00:31:31] Scott Moran: up with Scapelli?

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[00:31:39] Frank: the plumbing company. It was clearly a front, the way that Tony Soprano had the disposal,

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[00:31:52] Scott Moran: Whoever fucking arrives first takes care of this shit. Uh,

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[00:31:57] Scott Moran: got a whole fleet. Those city cops got it again. That's highway patrols territory. It's a fucking plumbing

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[00:32:07] Scott Moran: newer. They're finding about the little guys, fucking plumbing calls and they're fucking heading them off at the pass.

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[00:32:12] Frank: their, their vans don't have radiator issues on the way to the job. That's true. And when you have to buy a 3 bottle of Evian,

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[00:32:27] Frank: I did not notice that

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[00:32:34] Frank: movie.

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[00:32:38] Scott Moran: in John Leguizamo's book. That they were drinking. And John Leguizamo broke his leg on the set? Probably because of that. So, did

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[00:32:51] Frank: Yeah, or something and that's when like a bad accident happened he and

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[00:33:16] Frank: Yeah, whenever they all go out to dinner the double date Well, even just when he, uh, Luigi first meets Daisy the way that he's creepily just looking over his shoulder with those like and let

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[00:33:29] Scott Moran: Hoskins is not phoning this performance He is giving it his all. He and Dennis Hopper Did not half ass this.

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[00:33:46] Scott Moran: this one. Yeah, so they bonded over being, uh, orphans on their double date.

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[00:34:02] Frank: movie. Luigi is kind of Luigi

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[00:34:15] Scott Moran: That's correct. Apparently.

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[00:34:23] Scott Moran: Bob Hoskins also said that he was electrocuted. At one point, I'm thinking it's probably during the mugging scene. When they're

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[00:34:30] Scott Moran: when Bertha steals the, uh, thing and the old lady was, wants her Koopa coins, which is the only mention of coins in this whole movie.

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[00:34:42] Frank: You know, I wanted to point out, you know, you learn lessons in life and I've talked about it other things, but when you go to tighten a nut on something in a movie, righty tighty. Every time I see a motherfucker twisting left on a nut or bolt or screw in a fucking movie when they're trying to tighten or Turn something off

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[00:35:02] Scott Moran: They were still in regular Brooklyn. Okay, it happened you

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[00:35:11] Scott Moran: righty tighty Well, Mario's drunk. Probably didn't

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[00:35:19] Frank: My eyes were fixated on it, man. I was like, motherfucker, already turned it the wrong direction. What's he doing? He was just kind of cupping it with his hand and making a motion like he was

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[00:35:34] Frank: Amazing. Uh.

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[00:35:49] Scott Moran: lately. Oh my god when they like tear down spaceship like Battlestar when they disassembled everything like I was like

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[00:36:19] Frank: Oh man. But yeah, so, and not to get into it, but you know, the new, the new one, there's, you know, let's just say this. You've got a British guy playing an Italian guy. And then I went to look up, you know, you know, John, I always said John Leguizamo was Puerto Rican. So I was like, and then they've got this Puerto Rican guy playing an Italian guy.

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[00:36:47] Scott Moran: Italy back to Colombia? John Leguizamo was stoked to play this because Italians are always playing Latinos.

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[00:37:06] Frank: was getting his. And it, there's nothing wrong, I just, I always thought he was Puerto Rican because I thought he was like, And I mean, that's fine. I don't care.

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[00:37:16] Scott Moran: I've never really thought about John Leguizamo's lineage as far as things go. I've watched all his stand up specials and that's largely what it's about, but it seems like he talks more about being like a Brooklyn guy, you know? Like he's more from New York than anything else.

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[00:37:52] Frank: I was looking for the slip because I looked up because I was like, okay They got who do they got playing these two Italian

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[00:37:58] Scott Moran: This guy is drunk and staying in character All through this

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[00:38:13] Frank: I didn't catch Bob slipping on anything. Nothing that I noticed. No.

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[00:38:33] Frank: Oh God there was a lot to take in while watching this and you said you really I'm not saying I didn't enjoy it But I was in a sort of time warp like this was the longest hour and 45 minutes that I've had in a

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[00:38:52] Frank: love.

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[00:38:59] Scott Moran: No, not at all. There was none of that. And what's with the shoes? Was it trying to explain the jumping? Like the jumping boots? I was

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[00:39:12] Scott Moran: And who invents these boots in the first place? And for

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[00:39:28] Frank: What did people use them for? Was it to get around and look cool? How'd you like it when they're hovering?

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[00:39:53] Scott Moran: fuck? It's quality bad movie. Like, to find a movie that is bad on accident is the, the, the finest.

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[00:40:07] Frank: it was a big deal. And like I said, to go back to the, I like immediately, I jogged a memory of one of the previews on HBO when they're running from the two cop cars and they're in the cop car. Like when you're eight nine years old that cop car looks badass.

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[00:40:24] Frank: was one of the scenes in that preview that was like on HBO was like the car Bursting through the flames and driving foot with police on that like battering ram on the front Yeah, that was part of that HBO trailer that I loved but I did want to bring up the guns You know, it just seems like they're shooting harmless fireballs at Mario and Luigi, then all of a sudden they pull the brake maneuver.

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[00:40:45] Scott Moran: the cars blow up, I mean, cars blow up magic

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[00:40:51] Scott Moran: I mean, cars very rarely blow up in real life.

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[00:41:00] Scott Moran: in a movie and It's the same as like, I wanna hear the sound when something explodes in space.

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[00:41:06] Frank: has a V8 with a nasty exhaust and a chase scene. Not every car sounds like that. But it does in the

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[00:41:22] Scott Moran: The body got bigger, right?

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[00:41:25] Scott Moran: um, all but it didn't appear to get bigger. They only stuck his head inside the de-evolution machine. But

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[00:41:37] Frank: Okay. That's a

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[00:41:40] Frank: that's on point. When you're walking, when Toad, when they're escorting Toad to the chair to get de evolved, the clothes are huge on him.

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[00:41:57] Frank: movie.

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[00:42:02] Scott Moran: Also, a half an hour was cut out of this movie. A half an hour? A half

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[00:42:09] Scott Moran: length? All told, yeah. And this movie is so crazy that foreign markets cut it down more to like an hour fifteen.

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[00:42:24] Frank: way. Honestly, I wouldn't mind checking that out, just for reference.

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[00:42:37] Frank: that.

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[00:42:39] Scott Moran: Brothers? Yeah. Like the dark version of this movie. I want to know. I want to know where, what happened.

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[00:42:50] Scott Moran: York 90s. This movie is like caught somewhere between the really good dark movies of that time like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Batman Like they've set out to do and Theodore Rex Also both of those movies have walk the dinosaur in it Okay,

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[00:43:19] Scott Moran: Why does he pretend to be their lawyer when he goes to the police station to find out if they have the meteorite shard?

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[00:43:24] Frank: necessary?

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[00:43:30] Frank: And, you know, contrary to what you might think, I am very observant. Also, why

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[00:43:35] Frank: posters? Um, maybe somebody's gonna run against

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[00:43:41] Scott Moran: Yeah, but I'm gonna win. Thank you for your votes again. Penis very large. Koopa's

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[00:43:50] Scott Moran: hair, man. For some reason, when I saw it for the first time, I thought... I thought it was his head when I was a kid. Like I didn't realize it was hair. I thought that his head Same was like it

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[00:44:04] Frank: Yeah, that was in my

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[00:44:08] Frank: I thought the same thing

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[00:44:16] Frank: Yes! Sorry, you always say no. I'm just happy I got a yes. I don't even care. I'm sorry I'm

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[00:44:30] Frank: No, I mean...

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[00:44:39] Frank: plumbers! Yeah, or he can co pilot the car because I play video games all day. There's an explanation for a lot of

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[00:44:46] Scott Moran: Man, the chemistry between Mario and his girlfriend, Daniella, though. Why doesn't

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[00:44:52] Scott Moran: I don't know. She's got some other credits. Man, the two of them, like, you were like, those two fuck all the

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[00:45:05] Frank: Yeah, like, mmm. Yeah, and, you know, she's got that Brooklyn, like, Italian, like, wifey to be whole, like, yeah. And she's got that, the boobage, the boobage is jacked up to the max with the little tight skirt and the hair. With that, you know, that Brooklyn slash Jersey makeup.

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[00:45:27] Frank: Mario.

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[00:45:29] Scott Moran: And that's why when he was romancing Bertha, that first time it didn't work.

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[00:45:37] Scott Moran: He was like, oh, you just, yeah, I want to be punched in the face again. Yeah, she's like,

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[00:45:45] Scott Moran: How about when he was trying to untie that, like, that whole scene, like, his expressions and everything like that, like, Bob Hoskins gave it his fucking all. Also, Lena, I should point out, is Harry Potter's adoptive parent, mother. Is she? Yeah, she's in so much stuff. She's in a ton

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[00:46:06] Frank: Um, definitely the most cleaves she ever put out there, just want

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[00:46:14] Frank: I don't remember there being so much skin in this for like a 90's kids movie.

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[00:46:23] Scott Moran: Because it was just there. That was how they drew the adults in. Yeah, like instead of the,

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[00:46:31] Scott Moran: cleave. We're talking the heyday of Baywatch. But, and also

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[00:46:40] Frank: Wasn't about the big round ass back then.

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[00:46:45] Frank: makeup, lots

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[00:46:58] Frank: on here? What's funny is my brain went to New Jack City.

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[00:47:12] Scott Moran: wives clothes. Oh, the suits in this movie? Yeah, yeah. The ones Mario and Luigi put on? The yellow and the red? They are for sure wearing women's zoot suits.

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[00:47:28] Frank: Oh, I went to Eric Stoltz. Sorry. I was like, what are you trying to say about Cher? Do you believe? I need, I want to play with Auto Tune one day and just cover Cher songs.

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[00:47:51] Scott Moran: Mario predicted. A couple things. Yeah. And then the Taliban watched this movie and they were like,

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[00:48:01] Scott Moran: Dennis Hopper dino tongue? That was crazy. And when his face like morphed again,

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[00:48:12] Frank: I was like, the only time I knew exactly what you're talking about when you see the demon twitch, but it's not like a horror. Okay, Devil's Advocate I think you could say is a horror movie. Just 90s

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[00:48:28] Scott Moran: The whole time. That breaks the rules of the science. I mean, you made a machine. I guess, did they shoot him with the guns? Also, the guns were the old Nintendo upgrade guns. Is that what they were? Yeah, the de evolution guns. Dude, I thought They were just like spray

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[00:48:50] Frank: People cover so much on these and do deep research. There's a

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[00:48:55] Frank: there's whole videos of people putting together like, Hey, recognize this in Star Wars? Guess what? Or it's like, you know, they pick random props from movies and they're like, That's what it was. There's so much of that out there.

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[00:49:09] Scott Moran: door. Yeah, they were the like the big rifles that they sold that were. I remember it now need that. I remember it now. Yeah. Did you notice that the computer was operated with a duck hunt gun as well?

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[00:49:22] Scott Moran: No, not really. I. Was

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[00:49:30] Scott Moran: do it for a game or two. I also like, it didn't help me as much as I thought it was helping,

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[00:49:38] Frank: Yeah, for

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[00:49:43] Frank: much about how it used to be.

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[00:49:48] Frank: eyes. Oh my god. It's it's weird We're talking in the same order that I jotted stuff down and it's a really crazy thing

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[00:50:10] Scott Moran: Yeah.

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[00:50:16] Scott Moran: captive. I'm honestly for the time period. And even in a kids movie, I am super surprised that none of the dinosaur people were smoking. Yeah. Tons of cigarettes, tons of cigarettes, turtles and stuff like that.

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[00:50:34] Frank: smoke filled rooms.

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[00:50:43] Frank: I didn't go into places smelling like smoke as a child. Yeah.

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[00:50:48] Scott Moran: day. When Bertha helps at the end and she gives the shoes to Luigi, she never really interacted with Luigi. Why would she help Luigi? He's helping her boo. She's into that Mario.

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[00:51:09] Frank: No. So there's a scene when, uh, Mario and Luigi have them, right. And they're running, you can see the very top. I was like. They've got a different apparatus for when they're running like they they wanted to make it easier to run So I had it in my head and at the very end when Daisy is around the meteorite with Luigi You get a pretty good fucking look at What were those wrestling dolls from back in the day?

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[00:51:36] Scott Moran: size of a couch pillow. Do you remember what you're talking about? Yeah, it looked

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[00:51:50] Scott Moran: scene.

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[00:51:54] Frank: the watch through of this, make sure to catch that at the very end of the hour and 45 minute long

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[00:52:12] Scott Moran: Whatever. When did she become Princess Peach? Is that tough? Two?

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[00:52:22] Scott Moran: Well, she doesn't, they never say Peach in the first game. I've just

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[00:52:28] Scott Moran: Peach, whatever.

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[00:52:35] Frank: with the floaty? Yeah. Yeah. The second game I feel like was the wild card. It

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[00:52:45] Frank: do the cheat and go get the whistles and go straight to the end within like 15 20 minutes.

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[00:52:50] Scott Moran: Mm hmm. Remember? There was a way in the first one to get right to the end very quickly. I

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[00:53:07] Frank: Wasn't that Super Mario World? Like the first time we got

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[00:53:20] Frank: Well yeah, because I feel like I got my Super Nintendo at 9 or 10. And I was super hyped and like my first game was Super Mario World.

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[00:53:29] Scott Moran: name. So right here I have the booklet from the original. Super Mario, because remember how video games back then, they didn't have any plot, but the booklet would sometimes give you a plot to go on? So it says, One day, the kingdom of the peaceful Mushroom People was invaded by the Koopa, a tribe of turtles famous for their black magic.

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[00:54:16] Scott Moran: Not Peach. Toadstool. That

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[00:54:20] Scott Moran: The daughter of the Mushroom King. Unfortunately, she is presently in the hands of the great Koopa Turtle King. Mario, the hearer of the story, parentheses, maybe. Here's about the Mushroom People's plight and sets out on a quest to free the Mushroom Princess from the evil Koopa and restore the fallen kingdom of the Mushroom People.

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[00:55:11] Scott Moran: Did you know they put a mustache on him? Because he looked too much like another character from another game, and that's the only reason Mario had a mustache, and that's how he became Italian.

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[00:55:25] Scott Moran: Wow. But I enjoyed the shit out of watching this again and picking it apart, and I know that there are a hundred other, like, every fucking movie podcast has done Mario Brothers, so maybe it's a rite of passage, but it was really fun watching this again.

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[00:55:45] Scott Moran: get to it. Get to it. I was a teenage mammal. Triple X. Was that a, uh, a porn movie that was buried in the, or in the background?

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[00:56:00] Frank: What is it? They zoom in on like a movie theater sign, and it's I Was a Teenage Mammal, Triple X, and it had two

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[00:56:17] Frank: they're dancing and stuff? I think it's the one

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[00:56:22] Scott Moran: Yes! There are actual strippers stripping in that scene. It makes

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[00:56:37] Scott Moran: didn't notice it then. But there was supposed to be a Metroid movie, a live action Metroid movie was slated to be made after this.

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[00:56:51] Frank: the video game, you know, I feel like then, you know, cause even Street Fighter, I mean, are we going to have to do Street Fighter sometime just to talk about it? Cause I feel like

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[00:57:00] Scott Moran: Bison came to your village, it was the end of all you knew. Raul Julia For me, it was Tuesday.

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[00:57:15] Scott Moran: Kind of blows my mind that that came out after this. No, I did this was the first one JCV

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[00:57:25] Scott Moran: that one's hard to rewatch I've tried

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[00:57:40] Frank: Perfect.

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[00:58:02] Frank: can't say the same, but as far as this one goes, you know, if I, you know, if I learned anything, it's uh, stop

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[00:58:09] Scott Moran: Maybe you should show this one to your kid. She did not

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[00:58:13] Scott Moran: one, though. No. Not right now. It may wait a couple of years. Yeah, not right now. Start busting out the weird stuff. You just gotta leave stuff laying around. Make it their choice. Make it

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[00:58:26] Scott Moran: Yeah. There, yeah. Yeah. Some of the best stuff I watched was when I was homesick and nobody knew what I was doing. This one gave

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[00:58:37] Scott Moran: It really did. Like quotes? Yeah. You gotta quit sticking with the quotes. No, no. Make up some abstractions. No, no.

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[00:58:45] Scott Moran: Stop fiddling with the fungus.

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[00:58:47] Frank: fiddling with the fungus. I'm a vegetarian. I don't eat anything with a face.

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[00:59:01] Frank: I had that in parentheses. Was

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[00:59:06] Scott Moran: What a weird movie. What a weird childhood we had. All of these movies could be connected, if you ask me. They really could, Iggy. Maybe even Lawnmower Man, with Pierce Brosnan.

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[00:59:23] Frank: You can find us on Twitter at Last Clerks, Instagram at TheLastVideoStoreClerks, and you can find Scott at DispatchesFromThePit. com.

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About the Podcast

The Last Video Store Clerks
With Frank and Scott
The Last Video Store Clerks try to figure out what a good movie even is in the age of streaming. Are there still Cult Classics with no shelf to put them on? Something is missing. Former video store clerks Frank Roll and Scott Moran aim to find it. Or at least, comedy and a silver lining. What is a good movie anyway?

About your host

Profile picture for Scott Moran

Scott Moran

Former video store clerk, current sci-fi horror writer. Our copywriter, podcast editor, audio engineer, and resident bad good movie expert.