Episode 22

full
Published on:

28th Sep 2022

Hellraiser (1987) & Hellbound: Hellraiser 2

In advance of the Hellraiser Reboot dropping on Hulu next week, we watch Clive Barker's Hellraiser and Hellbound: Hellraiser 2. What better way to start the month of Halloween early? Did Scott read the book for this? You bet he did! What a nerd.

Currently, Hellraiser 1 & 2 can be found on Amazon Prime Video

Watch it Here

And 2 Here

And Shudder for good measure

But the October Horror Movie Streaming Shuffle is upon us! It could be anywhere tomorrow! So irritating!

Find Us

Twitter @LastClerks

Instagram @thelastvideostoreclerks

Facebook.com/lastclerks

Subscribe to Podcast:

Apple Podcasts

Spotify

Everywhere Else Links

The Last Video Store Clerks website

Copyright 2024 Last Clerks

Transcript

Hellraiser & Hellbound Hellraiser 2

Scott: [:

Frank: of Blockbuster Hollywood and the independent video

Scott: store over. But the days of searching the shelves for hidden gems and overlooked cult classics is never ending.

Frank: Join us while we drown in a sea of streaming options and ask the question, What the hell is

Scott: a good movie?

Anyway, I'm Frank.

Frank: I'm Scott. And where are the last video store clerks?

It was widely known that if you hold a flashlight to the back of the monsters of the Grid Iron, scratch off. You could see the answers behind the scratch off. Oh fuck. The first time I did it, I sent it in, got a t-shirt. I had a whole stack of them. Somebody was supposed to send off that stack because I was a kid.

I didn't mail shit. Guess what? Never

Scott: got mailed. I didn't mail shit. I didn't mail shit. That's

Frank: not my job as like a nine, 10 year old. I'm not going to the

Scott: post office. That's

Frank: true. Getting some stamps

Scott: and sending her off. No. I felt very entitled as a kid, like, I shouldn't have to do this. I'm a child.

Thinking about that. That's probably when you were supposed to be doing this. Well, I'm ,

Frank: [:

Scott: bitter about it. I had a lot of marro stuff from my, The miles stepmother.

Yeah. Yeah, the miles .

Frank: So see, I had the sleeping

Scott: bag. I had the sleeping bag too, but it was shitty.

Frank: Did you take it to sleepovers with like other kids? Uh, yeah. So now that you look back on it, like you were that kid who had the marro

Scott: sleeping bag from the mile. Yeah. You were the white trash kid. Dude, you don't know when you're wearing it.

I had no, I thought it was

Frank: awesome that I had all this stuff, you know what I mean? Like I got the shirt, I got, oh, you know, like, Oh, I've got a, I've got like a marble flask. What am I gonna do with the flask? But like

Scott: I had it. Yeah, I remember in high school with the camel cash, everybody would always save it and no one ever had any stuff.

Yeah. Well I feel like, because I don't think you could have redeemed it as a child , not

Frank: just that. I feel as if the camel cash was almost worthless compared to the miles,

. When you didn't watch much [:

Fuck

Frank: no. It's been busy. Like the, Yeah. The world is coming back to life more and more around me and, And I'm being forced to be involved more. It sucks.

Scott: Yeah. I don't really wanna be involved with the world. Yeah. I'm

Frank: just so ready to be not involved anymore. ,

Scott: you think that day is coming? I don't know, like everlasting happiness, The American dream, you'll find everlasting happiness.

No, there's nowhere to hide fulfillment. Nowhere to. On the off world colonies, ,

Frank: I mean, no, I'm definitely not gonna be part of the scout crew for anything anytime

Scott: soon. So I watched for all mankind, mostly. I tried to get going on Walking Dead again. Mm-hmm. , but it didn't really stick. I started looking for something else.

Did you try and start from the beginning or did you try to start from where you left off? I'm not fucking doing that. I just started Where'd you jump in Right after First ne season. Okay. After when, uh, Negan's, initial badness is quelled? I don't know. I, I might try. I'm gonna try to jump back into it. Is that last season on

Frank: Netflix?

I think we talked about

the very last one is, but I [:

Frank: That's just a horrible feeling cuz you had no idea I'm.

Scott: There wasn't any leaving room. No. Like I watched one and then the next day I went to watch the other one, like the last two and. Gone. Gone, fucking gone. It's happened to me on days. I had been watching that for like six months, just here and there.

Mm-hmm. , and then it's fucking gone. Well, and who knows where that went. It's not gonna motivate me to do it faster than , but who knows when that'll come back. The reason I started watching it in the first place was because it was never anywhere anymore. And it used to be everywhere cheap, I guess. I watched Day's shift the, it was pretty good.

I

Frank: started it and I didn't have time to really do it, so I watched that opening. I watched that and had to hit pause.

eah, I dug it. Little Franco [:

He does good. Yeah, and uh, I think this is his second vampire movie. He's Inright Night, the remake. Oh, shit.

Frank: That's right. That's been right. I think I might do that again. Getting

Scott: into the Halloween season. See the orange? Oh, I did it on accident. I hung, I hung the sound proofing stuff

Frank: up backwards. It's feted, and I was like, Oh, it's orange.

Like it's like Halloween. It's perfect. Oh, you know what? I did watch a movie. What'd you what? The newer robocop. Oh, cool. We'd been talking about it. Yeah, we have, And I saw it on, I think it was on Paramount Plus or something. So I said, Why not? It's because I'd only seen it once. I wanted to get that feel a couple years later, and

Scott: sometimes things get better if you have all that like build up to like what they're gonna be.

But if you know what they are and you watch it again, a lot of the times. Stuff is different. I

Frank: liked it more than I remembered, or maybe I just liked it

Scott: more this time. Maybe it was what you were feeling like watching and you knew what you were getting into.

Frank: Deep down in there I remembered what the storyline was cuz you know, it's, it's not similar to the old one.

It is, but you know, [:

Scott: firing squad. But I like day shift. I like seeing Jamie Fox be funny again if for no other reason. He was always good at that. Yeah. Fucking, you never see funny Jamie Fox anymore. He was a little like, uh, tongue and cheek funny. A lot of the time, you know, jango and chained and stuff like that.

But this was full blown cocky, fucking Jamie Fox and I bought it and I liked it. That's good. I really liked it. It got dog shit reviews, but man, it was, uh, exactly what I was looking for. People

Frank: have to stop expecting so much from everything. Yeah. The expectation. It's just the bar is set

Scott: so high right now.

I was thinking about that when I was the Ninja Turtles episode. Mm-hmm. like as great as Christopher Nolan. The greatest , he's fucking it up. Cause people expect too much. Well,

Frank: and you said you weren't

Scott: that hyped about Oppenheimer, Huh? I'm never that hyped about period piece by optics. Mm. Biopics. I felt

Frank: it by the time I reacted

Scott: you.

u see the little jerk that I [:

Well, what I'm seeing now is, uh, a lot of stuff that I was planning to watch closer to Halloween is gone because they can either charge money for it or That's awful. You know, they, they sold it off to some other streaming platform. Yeah, those really hot ticket item, they're disappearing and then they're just for rent.

I think you can still watch Elf somewhere. Yeah, that's, you know, But I bet at Christmas you have to pay for that shit. Yeah, I just have it everywhere. No, it's, Yeah, like Santa Sleigh is up right now, I think on hbo. I wanna say they'll find a way, Get . I wanna do that at Christmas. But is it gonna be there?

isode is coming out, the new [:

I think I may have missed a TV one here or there like a sci-fi channel one or so. I

Frank: know that I've seen the, the first three, four is question. I don't know if I went two, four or. If I

Scott: even made it to four. Well the thing about this was when I read the book cuz I was like, Oh yeah, I'll read that book. I uh, was like, this only sounds vaguely familiar to me now.

Mm-hmm. . Cause it had been so long, I realized cuz we watched Hellraiser and Hellbound Hellraiser 2. Both of us. The second movie, I've seen it so many times and it has the entire first movie in it. The whole first movie is jammed into that movie. I thought that I'd seen the first movie more times than I have like practically.

20 minutes of the movie or cut into this one, it's, it's

Frank: more than a recap,

g idea what that person, you [:

It's the eighties and everyone's happy. So

Frank: happy. I mean, I did appreciate that as they did stuff like that. There were scenes you didn't see in the first one. Yeah. But they, they were obviously filmed at the same time. They were fucking,

Scott: That sex scene was cut. Yes, it was. There was way more, there was pounding going on that one, but, And that's the one I remembered.

So when we watched Hellraiser and I, I got to the, the big sex scene that I remembered from when I was a kid wasn't quite, I was like, this was wasn't quite right. Kind of a letdown. Yeah. I thought it was more graphic than this. And, uh, looking it up, there's so much like rumor about other cuts of the movie.

a little too much fucked up [:

I know there, I did read there was a spanking scene, but who knows what's lore and what isn't about the making of Hellraiser. Yeah. What's been generated. Yeah. I do think it's, uh, hilarious that Clive Barker thinks it's undignified to call him Pinhead. He calls him the priest. Oh, because he never named him in the book.

He's not even a man in the book. Pinhead is a female cenobite with like two lines and the lines are like broken up between all

Frank: four of them. I, I watch it so much as a kid when we talk about it in my house, they would call him needle head. My parents, both two separate houses. Everybody was calling

Scott: him needles.

That's like your dad. What was he? He was calling

Frank: instead of gorillas in the mist. What's the gorney weaver? He would call it monkeys in

Scott: the fog. So that's where that came from. Yeah. That's where needle head. Yeah. I never,

Frank: I did not grow up singing

Scott: head. That's, that goes back to the, the Ninja Turtles episode when we were talking about bullshit that our parents said to us that we took into adulthood like fucking bullshit that they just said to us and we took it as.

. [:

Frank: Needle head was just how it came out. , he was needle head.

Scott: He wasn't even the lead scabby in the book or wasn't meant to be. What I was reading was prosthetics on the other two. Uhhuh just didn't allow them to speak, like they had lines and the lines were all divided up. They gave them all to Pinhead in the female Cenobite who's just listed as female.

Sy bite. Exactly. Mm-hmm. , I think she has a. In the second one it changed, Uh, it changed actresses for sure. Yeah. But the second one is bonkers. But this one had a good story. The other one is just kind of the equivalent to. The third night on Elm Street movie when the in the metal hospital. You know, like, like it's just like, we're gonna throw it all at the wall.

You even get

Frank: some, uh, pinhead back

Scott: story. Pinhead back story was apparently supposed to be longer. We're gonna talk about both movies. , I don't know how much I need to summarize. I know I keep wanting to go to two

Frank: kind of.

Scott: Okay. Let's stick to one. We're, we're gonna end up talking about both of them, but I'm gonna summarize the first one because summarize the first one I think.

This was a [:

Frank: it's that eighties gory though, where they don't give a fuck and it's just, it's got a little bit of kookiness with the RAness.

I like the silly special effect stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cause some of it was just, some of it was dark, you know, they hit

Scott: the dark, but with the lightning is, ugh, it's real eighties. But I read that he ran outta money and he did that while he was. Really all the lightning He, him and a Greek gentleman is what he said.

I who over a weekend they got hammered together and put the lightning in the movie for like nothing, for no money cuz they were out. Cost a million dollars to make this movie and they did 20 million. So it was huge success,

Frank: Dude. I'd seen it way more than I thought when I was young, but apparently I've not seen it in a long ass time.

I

rstood it. Yeah. I will say, [:

So like you can't get mad about an adaptation at that point. And the main thing was, uh, Kirsty in the movie is not the daughter in the book. She's just a family friend. Family friend. And she goes to check on Julia, Flips out. This was way creepier though. . Come to Daddy. It makes that Apex twin song, gives it another zing.

It's the worst fucking uncle ever. . Not a good uncle, horrible fucking uncle. I didn't feel. Terrible for Frank in the book, but I felt worse for him, for his stupidity.

Frank: Okay. I didn't read the book, so I'll take your

Scott: word for it. It didn't seem, he didn't wanna like, he wasn't like Christy , you know, like in the fucking book, but Kirsty was like a stranger, essentially.

d about her was he was like, [:

Nailed it

Frank: and the best Uncle Award goes to .

Scott: Uh, but. I very much enjoyed watching this. Again, I wish I had watched it more back in the day, but I think I was deceived by the second movie. I was just so young

Frank: when it was on all the time. I guess I took that for granted, kind of, you know, like I, I felt the need.

Oh, I don't need to watch it. I saw that so

Scott: much. Well, also when I was younger and I watched this, this is a more story heavy, like human feelings based thing about people, and Freddy is about like dream monster, you know? And like Freddy the 13th is about like this kid that drowned and this is about good sex.

That's

Frank: what it was. It was lust. Yeah. All the

opening in the attic of his [:

Soon after. Frank's brother, Larry. Weird saying your name so many times, Frank's brother, Larry , and his wife Julia, move into the house finding. Filthy fucking squat in the upstairs bedroom stirs Julia's memories of the fleeting affair she had with Frank on her wedding day. In fact, on her fucking wedding dress on top of her wedding dress.

I loved how they showed that that was

Frank: fucked up. Let's just throw that in there. Like, not only is she gonna fuck the brother when he shows up at the house, way to go, Clive Barker. Gotta watch out for those Monica Lewinsky stains.

Scott: Larry's daughter Kirsty also rise in town and rents a room. Seemed real thrown.

act because she has a reason [:

And I got the idea in the book that she was a family friend who wanted to fuck Larry and that she didn't like Julia because of. I think this made that character more likable. Well done. Clive Barker. I wanna go. Yeah. The dinner party, he saw the holes and, and fixed it all up. But, uh, during the move in, Larry cuts himself on a nail and he bleeds on the attic floor.

And then, uh, half formed skinless. Frank pulls himself back into the fucking world, which was super evil. Dead awesome, scene driven. Lust and longing of her one sort of rough encounter with Frank on her wedding dress, she, uh, goes about seducing men and murdering them and feeding them to Frank so he can grow his skin back and they can do it.

Blood must have blood

romance novel. Mm-hmm. . So [:

And I just pictured this old British lady, cuz this was, All filmed in London. Clearly when the film studio in the United States got ahold of it, they wanted to make it American. So did you feel like Frank's voice was weird? Like regular Frank?

Frank: He, It was a bit over the top. You know what I, There was a little bit too much jump over

Scott: Aish actor.

Oh fuck no. Yeah, it's completely dubbed over. He's a British actor. He did it all with his accent. Everyone was British pretty much, except for, you know, some of the main cast was, I just thought that

Frank: was eighties. You know what I

Scott: mean? I did too. And then when I found it out, I was like, Oh my God. That makes so much sense.

and they apparently did. And [:

Well, and what did I see

Frank: about him? He was an old like

Scott: theater buddy. Yeah. Clive Barker just fucking made this movie cuz he was pissed off that they fucked Underworld up his other book that they made a movie out of and he didn't like it. And he was like, I'm just gonna make my own thing. He did a fantastic job other than that fucking lightning.

But you gotta give him credit for getting hammered with a Greek gentleman and . Well,

Frank: and you know, some of those scenes are pretty all

Scott: over the fucking place. Yeah. The story's a little like, what are we supposed to focus on here? We're not following the main hero, the hero of the story. Kirsty, she's the relief too.

Us following horrible

Frank: people. Well, and something I would normally, you know, when you poke holes in the plot, you know, there's like loose ends I guess you could say. Yeah. There's a lot of shit that's not. And, and, but it's not like serious shit. Like it's not big issues. It's

Scott: not, you know? Yeah. I feel like the stuff with the cenobites was glossed over a little faster in the movie.

erything was covered, but. I [:

Frank: too.

Well, and I'm even speaking more on a simpler plane of Julia wanders upstairs during the dinner party. Oh yeah. When there's screaming in a fucking house and there's like more than one other person that I'm

Scott: just saying things like that. The book, they explained that she felt like that room had something to it almost like it's taking it to another place about Frank.

Her brother talk, the brother talking shit about him. No, and I mean, not to

Frank: get it twisted, I don't care. I I was fine with it for this movie. Like, you guys can do that because Yeah, this, it still comes together

Scott: well. Yeah. What I like about all these movies mm-hmm. is Sex always serves the story in a Hell Razor movie.

It's never unnecessary. It might be gratuitous, but that's a better sex scene to me.

Frank: Well, I mean, it was some luty shit. I mean, I'll, you know, the fucked up brother who fucks up in life

alm of mainstream, you know, [:

Frank: but it's just that it's, that was, that was dirty man.

You know, he just shows up and he's like basically kind of putting it in a place from the get go. You know that back and forth conversation, but he's like, And she likes

Scott: it. Yeah. Are you letting me in or what? Well, they, the way it's described in the book is it's fast and he does it like matter of factly.

She's describes it as not being all that different than a rape, but she likes

Frank: it. Yeah. All that I put in my notes for all of that was Julia

Scott: a ho. And uh, in the book, she's just described as being like just the most beautiful woman. And the second I saw that hair again, I was like, Oh shit.

Frank: man. What about that eye makeup?

That was some eighties shit. Did you notice when she's wearing those star earrings, how her outfit, Is that like that orange and black ensemble? Oh yeah. And then also like the eyeshadow is also that orange and black. It had like an orange tint. It wasn't that the blue and red that you see in the other scene.

Yeah, I think what she's having a glass of

m-hmm. and Julia had none of [:

Frank: waisted jeans, that leather jacket that all

Scott: of them had.

That was a. Little much. That was a big jacket. Um, Or it was like a triple XL leather jacket, or

Frank: what was that? The outfit that she was wearing after the dinner date with the guy.

Scott: That thing. Um,

Frank: Oh yeah. That's shit that you'll see at fucking Coachella right now. Yeah. Like it's one of

Scott: those, Yeah, she had that hat on and stuff.

Yeah. Should look like fucking Madonna. Uhhuh. Yeah.

Frank: But I mean, that's some of that shit that's back right now. Yeah. But no, I mean the eighties vibe all the

Scott: way. Yeah. I always like that big eighties hair though. Just the hair brained on me that time. Yeah. Somewhere between married with children and, But again,

Frank: Julia, I mean what this character's what in her forties would

Scott: you say?

Yeah, probably. Yeah. I mean, who knows When it comes to things we saw when we were younger and now we watch 'em. Now everybody still looks older than me. Because they looked older than me before I

Frank: knew that she was older. But I feel like she didn't look that old to me back.

Scott: She played back then when I watch, uh, Mad Hatty in Sandman.

Old lady in there. Yeah. [:

Uh, no, actually I did scroll through her thing cause she's not sing Castle Castle. So, back off.

Frank: You know what, when we hit eighties horror movies, I guess the Castle Crowd is out

Scott: Um, were

Frank: you gonna, The Castle crowd is always out. Were you gonna talk about Larry

Scott: the dad? Larry, uh, was a good dude. I felt bad for

Frank: Larry. I looked at him. I, So, I guess I really didn't remember who was in this movie, but I saw his picture and I said, Yeah, what? What was he in? And one of the first things is Dirty, Hairy.

Scott: The second movie, I was immediately like, That's the guy from Aliens . He's so startled all the time. He's got a good startle face, and he talks to himself, , What am I doing? This

That was a, He had a creepy [:

Scott: Yeah, for sure. I remember him from random, just random shit when I was a kid.

What

Frank: is it at the end of Dirty Harry when he shoots him? He's like, crawl across a football field. Is it? Is it a football

Scott: field or a. It's been a long time, man,

Frank: he dirty years since I was a kid. Whatever. Patrick Grass, he's crawling across in that voice while he's screaming back at calla.

You know, like it's just like, yeah, let's,

Scott: let's say it was a children's soccer field. Let's say it was a

Frank: and they were in the stands and they had the cowbells and everybody was cheering and they

Scott: were like, That guy's wearing a red shirt. This Blue

Frank: shark day, and then they were like, Where's the baboon? Oh

Scott: wait, wrong Clint.

What's in Kirsty's fucking pet store? Did you see that shit? ? We're jumping around a lot. We're gonna jump between two movies, so yeah, you fucking outlines out the window.

Frank: Yeah. Um. Yeah. So when she's like, Dad, let's

Scott: just treat both movies as one

Frank: movie. . Yeah. Let's go into, She calls her dad and she's like, he's like, You're gonna stay with us.

hing. I got my own place and [:

Scott: I was trying to rationalize it in my head cuz I was like, Okay, these are Americans. It's clearly a London set. They never say where they're at.

They say they left New York. Mm-hmm. , but they never really mention it. Those two actors are American. I was just, I, I couldn't think of a good reason why Kirsty would move to anywhere but New York City with her dad. Well, and it shows they're on the train. She doesn't seem to really

Frank: like, you know, they're on that train when they do travel, so it's, you know, they moved outside of the city, but she's still able to get back into the city.

Oh,

Scott: fair enough. Yeah. Yeah. That might be it. They call me the explainer . No, thanks again. Frank.

Frank: The explainer. No, I'll just try and rationalize to. Um, you Yeah, I, I figured from that train shot. Okay. They're still within Brooklyn. Was it Brooklyn or what did they say? I think they

Scott: were at William Burg at,

Frank: at something like that.

But they were like, At least were not in Brooklyn anymore,

fucking crazy. The dub was, [:

Frank: It was, You couldn't see the,

Scott: But the amount of, like, it wasn't just two actors that were dubbed over, so who knows who else I, they seemed to.

Well

Frank: alone for when that movie was made. They did a great job. Yeah. He did a fantastic job making because I, to me, the voice did not match the face, but I thought it was just like overacting, you know? He was trying to be way too domineering with that character, and it was that. Yeah, this the controlling. I don't give a fuck.

Do as I say. Yeah,

Scott: it was overboard though, and like it made it hard to feel for Julia at all. And you do in the book. Well she finds those pictures and him banging the other chick. She took this dumb girl that suddenly I had a sexual experience that was, Oh, that's what I want. And then she was stuck with this guy cuz Frank just fucking bailed afterwards.

Frank: She'd never been choked the right way before.

Scott: Apparently , apparently. I get it, girl. Go for it. Do what makes you happy.

Frank: Put that slimy finger in the mouth. .

Scott: You want a [:

Frank: Okay, but back to the pet shop. I guess. What the fuck? I guess

Scott: she was, there was, there was like a monkey in that pet. She.

Said she was gonna get a

Frank: job. The whole thing. No dad, I'm getting my own place. I have to do this. I'm

Scott: gonna look for a job. And then she has a job at the pet store, but the pet store, the opening shot of that is this fucking monkey in a cage. . You're like, This pet store is not equipped to keep a monkey

This one frazzled

Frank: girl. Yeah. No, you only keep monkeys in the pet shops in California. You can't even

Scott: keep homeless guys from eating the cricket.

Frank: Gotta love a cricket eater, , just a handful of protein. That was

Scott: none of the book either. ? No. None of that extra homeless man. I think he was listed as being derelict or something like that.

Is that what it said? Instead of like transient or?

Frank: One thing I noticed it was just one of those where so many of the people with credits on IMDB had. Photo listed.

Scott: None. Steve didn't have a photo.

's almost like if there's no [:

Nah, fuck it. You don't care about yourself. I don't care what else you were in. Yeah, you quit acting. Think you're so special. Not having a profile pick on imdb. Who the fuck do you think you are? Ashley?

Scott: Lauren hasn't been in too much other than she's just ridden the Scream Queen Train. She did some painting.

It was no.

Frank: Yeah, that first one. Really nobody. Second one, Dr. Kyle. Dr. Kyle's been in some shit. He went on to do some stuff. Yeah. But yeah, the first one, the dad is the only one with more like bigger. Yeah. Big, larger, like, I guess, uh, more prominent credits.

Scott: Yeah. And then other, like Doug Bradley being, and I think the other two guys were Cenobites several more times.

Mm-hmm. they replaced the female one. Just not Vag Throat. Yeah. Deep Throat was her name. Well, her name

Frank: was Deep Throat. Yeah. In the. Oh, so she wasn't

Scott: just female, she just never said it. Yeah. Yeah. That's what she was referred to on set. It was one of those things.

Frank: Oh, well, the original, the one who played her in the first hell razor.

Remember we've brought up Millennium before with Chris Christofferson. Yeah. His little robot buddy. Oh yeah. The Eyes. But I think that was a male character who was the robot in

Scott: Millennium, The gold [:

Frank: in the book Eyes in that eighties makeup and I was like, Fuck, that looks like his gold homie for millennium, but it now it's badge throat and hell

Scott: raiser name.

Also, think of like red dwarf and stuff like that. Same kind of makeup.

Frank: Yeah, it was all similar. The muscle suits got better from two one to two. I mean, they found a way to streamline it for two it looked

Scott: like. And the second one, when Julia crawls outta that fucking bed, that scared the fuck outta me when I was a kid.

I don't know if I remember

Frank: the, like the muscular arolas

Scott: Kelly also commented on that. Uh, those aren't muscles ,

Frank: but yeah, when it's like the muscle.

Scott: The muscle, slim muscle tis and nipples and the whole deal. But when she was

Frank: crawling, I clearly saw like

Scott: a toga. Th That's what Kelly said too. She was like, she was like, She's got like a thong on, like a thong muscle.

She's like, Did you look it up? Well, it's

rm back, I don't know if you [:

Scott: was like, Are they gonna show Dom? I think a lot of things got happened to water that movie down. Oh, they definitely, Ken, He had the Ken Effect.

I was reading at the time that they were on a campaign against tone. At the time. So if a movie had overtones of sex or sexual violence or stuff like that, they'd start watering the movie down to weed it out. And uh, like I said, my hypothesis is only about 30 seconds we cut out of this fucking movie . So everybody waiting for a director's cut for 20, 30 years.

Now it's, uh, you're not gonna get it. It's 30 fucking seconds and it probably. Popped up in little other things cuz they definitely

Frank: used, I get where you're going, but if there was that much sex scene, not

Scott: included, but that was a five second sex scene. Think about it. Realistically, that was five seconds.

Yeah. So how much was cut out of it? Three. So you got like three extra seconds of it in the second movie. The second. Ruby is bonkers though with her wearing that fucking white. Which I guess is just the version of Frank wearing that white shirt. Yeah. It being all

ank: bloody well and then he [:

Yeah. . Well did you feel like you needed to spruce up a bit more? Yeah, I

Scott: know. May go out.

Frank: Yeah. You know your goopy fucking sticky muckiness is like just too much for the

Scott: white shirt. I like after she kills the first guy, she goes and gets cleaned up and she did a fantastic performance of looking freaked out in that bathroom.

And

Frank: that Was that like morning after you've done some hard drugs? Lighting? Yeah. On her.

Scott: Yeah, she, she looked fucking shook it

Frank: really. It was really good to give it that full effect right

Scott: there. But I like that she goes back in the room and then Frank is like touching her lips. She just got cleaned up, dude.

She did. And

Frank: he's got that way too. You have bloody fingers. Yeah. But

Scott: I like the second one when she comes back and she's got the whole, the Dr. Bands are up and then they undo it though she has a full head of hair, , , like a lot of

Frank: hair. Oh man. And he starts grinding and making out with her while she's got the bandages on.

This

. [:

So

Frank: I'm watching Tiffany in two and I'm like, she's like a cross between like being like a long lost Hemsworth sister and fucking somebody Brad Pitts related too.

Scott: You know that movie holds the record with Titanic for the most time. The main character's names are said aloud. No way. Over and over and over again.

Nobody says each other. Like, I'm never like, Hello, Frank boy Scott . I'm just an exclamation, you know, I, the other day, this is Complet, this is completely fucking off topic, but I was like, nobody names their kid Frank anymore. And then I looked up the percentage of how much people name their kid, Frank. And it's way higher than Scott is it.

Frank: Way weird story. I'm talking with my coworker yesterday. And I was like, How popular is my name now? I just looked it up yesterday too, but it's not that popular. It's not that popular, but it's more popular than Scott Mines,

ular than mine. Mine's lows. [:

Mine has become lower. My name means nothing. No, there's gotta be way more Scott's in the world than Frank's, though. Maybe already walking around, but you, It's done. Hear people naming their kids. That shit is over. Way more over than Frank. I think

e was the most popular around:

So, but

Scott: another one was, mine goes before that because mine was a nickname for a Scottish kid. . Oh yeah.

Frank: Mine means Frenchman or Freeman. That's

Scott: just what they called redheads. Walking around was my name ?

Frank: Oh yeah, No mine's Frenchman Or free man, it's weird that I've looked this up and you know too, cuz this was totally random.

Scott: Well it's because I was talking about it and I was like, I bet no one names our kid Frank anymore. No, because your name's weird. It's Albert also Albert and Frank too. Dying names and I'm

Frank: a third. Yeah, there are none of those.

Scott: Yeah, that's done . Don't call me to, You gotta be a Arian to have a third.

Frank: Ja Car's, [:

Scott: I did really like for a movie Monster. This was always mysterious to me reading the book. I got way more information about the Cenobites because they're part of the order of the gas order

Frank: of the gas. It took me to like a Mad Max thing, order

Scott: for the waters. The guys who the water spills from the desert land.

Frank: Oh man. Nah man. We're not out here looking for

uz he's in uh, hellworld. The:

Frank: like I said, I know I made it through three, four.

I would have to start it and see if I'd seen it.

Scott: Henry Cavell gets a monstrous public blowjob in the middle of a rave.

Frank: Well, fuck. How old was he in oh five? He had to have been

on't know. Fuck. We're aged, [:

Frank: millennials, Zal , not Gen Z, but a ziel.

Fucking thanks to I think some guy in Australia. Now there's Ziel.

Scott: We talked about that during Ninja Turtles. It feels like we're doing it every episode.

Frank: To me. people with their goddamn labels, man. Making me all self-conscious and shit. I don't know. I need to let it

Scott: go. fuck as far. Between the two. Uh, this is why I don't rewatch hellrazor.

It feels like a classic, but it doesn't feel like the fun I want from a Hellraiser movie. Mm-hmm. , where the second one really felt like it did. Also, the collection of some of the best fucking in movies I've ever seen. Oh. Throughout the series? Throughout the, the entire series. I would say there's probably a list out there of Hellraiser sex scenes ranked, cuz there's some bad ones too.

There's some bad ones. , Yeah. .

Frank: So you had me count. There's 10 of

m, but I've seen more than I [:

Frank: Just fucking, There's some serious hellraiser. Fran. Fran out there. Fran dressers. Fran dressers. Yeah.

Scott: She's in Santa Sleigh. I mentioned earlier. .

Frank: No, there I, you know, I'm sure there's some serious fans out there that if I were to say needle head like more than once, They're more than twice. And just keep saying needle head.

It'd probably make 'em flip out fucking pinhead.

Scott: Oh yeah. I'm gonna get rid of every instance of you doing it. Respect Pinhead . You know what? You gotta respect the fucking horror fans. Yeah. Needle head, they're fucking . No. Yeah. Have some reverence for the priest. I need to read more Clive Barker books though.

It was something I, I read a thief. Which was like his young adult kind of thing about like a demonn that comes with this boy's window.

Frank: If he had written that today, they'd be making it like a book series and then he'd get movies after.

movie. They shouldn't make a [:

I think it'd be really good. I don't think Clive Barker's up to it now, but , I think he's a little sickly. Is he still alive? Yeah. Oh fuck. Did you see pictures of him, like around the time he was making this movie? No, he's, No, no, no. Young, handsome fella. Oh, at that time. Okay. Looks a little like a, A bro. Go

Frank: Well, and I think I'm stuck on the, I guess I didn't really realize West Craven had passed

Scott: away. It didn't sink in or

Frank: something. There's a part of me that maybe I didn't even know, and then it was me with the Scream stuff. I've

Scott: been watching, Oh man, I went on a tear when he died. I watched as many West Crave movies as I could.

Ones I hadn't watched in Year. Serpent In the Rainbow. Mm-hmm. not,

Frank: What was that one? When we watched freshman year in Dripping Springs was that vampire? The James Wood

Scott: Vampires one. That's John Carpenter. Oh, it was John Carpenter. Yeah, it was John Carpenter's Vampire. You're

Frank: right, you're right. Fuck. Okay. I did that one.

That one was on accident. That wasn't me being stupid.

John Carpenter's vampires is [:

Frank: refresher. I've gotten away from 'em.

Uh, it's weird. I used to love watching scary movies and I'd watch 'em all the time, and then I think I started getting a little too freaked out at night. I've had night terrors my whole. And when I would watch too many, it really was intensifying the night terrors. Oh really? Dude, I will wake up fucking screaming in the middle of the night and I'll take

Scott: off running.

I don, I don't think I've had a legit nightmare. Not one That wasn't just a stress dream. Mm-hmm. , you know, since I was a kid and the worst nightmare I ever had. R Pearlman locked me in a cedar chest,

Um, so that's my nightmare. Never all that bad, but I mean, These movie two came close to freaking me out this time a little bit still, it's that scene when Julia crawling across the floor after that fucking mental patient. Wait, when she's, When she climbs out the, Oh, when? When he brings face like appears in the mattress.

when I was a kid and I got a [:

Frank: again. I forgot the whole deal with the blood

Scott: feeding it a movie. To really freak me out is what I'm, I'm looking for this month.

I wanna, I wanna find something fucked. Because watching this was fun. This revived, uh, that eighties horror feel that I love. Uh, last year I watched a bunch of Freddie movies. I can't do all the Friday the 13th movie I movies. Cause they're used to like hell

Frank: raiser's Not scary to me. No, it's a good story.

It's a good story. It's actually, it's cool. It even had that eighties, you know, daytime soap feel at

Scott: times. Yeah, I like that. That's what Clive Barker has. It's got a little. So prop fields

Frank: here, you know, we would've Julia in the shot and just the hair with like, I dunno, a little bit of breeze coming from somewhere.

And there's that. She's all

Scott: like sitting there having that drink and she's got that. That's one little

Frank: hairspray back and her hair is, it seems extra red in that scene. Did you

Scott: notice the redness, something was going on where they, That was really the movie poster

er that she's walking one of [:

Has, Yeah. And he's, yeah. One of the feeder guys. Yeah. Um, the one who was almost reluctant. And what did he say? He's like, I'm alone. Or,

Scott: Oh yeah. It's real sad in the book. So that, that one's

Frank: a sad one. And they did that on purpose, right? Cuz the, you know, the other ones are a little rambunctious

Scott: and come really well across in both the book and the movie that these dudes that she's feeding him are just, you know, some of them are kind of dicks, they all act like, but then there's the one who's just.

But yeah, that guy was just, he didn't,

Frank: and he didn't get the full drain, so he like pops out of the door. That was the one, Get the full? Yeah. Like life drain. And hes like, Or what? And then here comes Uncle Frank. Or did you like how so much took place at the top of a staircase in between three doors.

Scott: So much of it and so many creative camera angles shooting in a.

This narrow. Yeah, because man, this how like shooting inside that house couldn't have been

Frank: easy and I didn't notice any shadows or anybody in a mirror.

above shots from stairwells. [:

It's like I haven't seen a large room and this

Frank: entire thing. So it did cost a million to

one cost a million dollars in:

Frank: to make, Man, I thought some of that stuff was to cook corners cuz there wasn't that much. That's

Scott: not that much money, man. Even back then, I know in England on top of that, who knows what the transfer between?

What was

Frank: it that I just saw that had nothing for fucking budget? Maybe it was that last Hellraiser movie. Probably something I just looked up while we were

Scott: talking. Um, there have been some super low budget Hellraiser movies. I am excited to see the new one now fresh. I think it might be cool. The movie story.

Jamie Clay. She's in, uh, this with Chasky show Sensei. I never watched Sense Eight. Yeah. She's the trans person in sense. And I think that's kind of a cool pick.

Frank: No, no. And like you're saying is a c cite, cenobites cite. I keep want to call '

Scott: em cpo Kelly thought I was talking about tiny cinnamon buns. Maybe that's why I wanna say sys.

Like are they [:

Frank: that's a Cenobite. This is a cenobites. Cenobite. Yeah. This is a cenobite. Yeah, that's a Cenobite of the order

Scott: of the gash. The order of the gash allows you to proceed. But I do like in the later movies, Pinhead talks a lot more. Yeah. The end of two with that post with all the weird shit.

On it. That was

Frank: so random. Was that the same mover, the younger guy from the first one? Oh, I

Scott: don't know. I hope

Frank: so. I think it was. I hope so. But then the second mover and the second movie at the end where you're talking about, he looked like a knockoff George Lucas to me.

did. He did. I was like, Is this a fucking knockoff jersey mover version of fucking George Lucas? But then also I do, I do think that that the guy, the younger one was the young. I think we got lightning outside, man. Is that Clive Barker out there making lightning ? You guys making fun of me. fuckers. .

Scott: I've been to bondage clubs.

Well, okay. And [:

Frank: I'm sure he'd.

Scott: He might and he'd make you open the box, the puzzle Girl, I almost completely forgot about that. I've seen too many fucking hours or movies and it's muddied up. The ones that were good. Can

Frank: I just, How are you supposed to know to solve that puzzle when it's just rubbing something in a certain

Scott: direction?

You gotta like, it's like a, to turn those, you gotta find that change. You gotta turn that box on. You get it? Do the alphabet with your tongue.

Frank: And I do like that they tried something different in the second one, but that first one was just pretty, pretty original, you know? Yeah. Something cool like, you know, Oh, you finally, and it's ju shoot, you activate and then it's like ju deactivate back to you.

This is weird, weird when he walks in the house.

Scott: What the fuck's that guy's name? William something. William

fuck. What the fuck? Jesus. [:

Scott: apparently in the script of that was fuck you.

And the actor was like, Can we make it Jesus wept? And it ended up being amazing. That

Frank: was so dark right there. Yeah. He's like licking his lip. Well see. And I feel for some reason, I mean, unless they just showed something happened that they didn't want, when they did that final at the end with him, I feel like it was real short.

Like I

Scott: like the editing. It went with the

Frank: style of how the rest of it went. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It would seem pretty quick. Maybe a little preemie, but I would've liked a little. I just a little bit more, but I did let the Jesus wept was

Scott: amazing. They played that a lot of times in the second movie. That's like they knew how gold that shit was.

Frank: Yeah. That's the event horizon level shit for me. Yeah. The Jesus

event Horizon, whether it's [:

Frank: Uh, I'm flashing back right now, like when they finally unscrambled a message.

Yeah. And he's just speaking Latin.

Scott: Let's do event horizon next time. You wanna do it next time? Let's do it next time. Frank.

Frank: Fuck Yeah. Frank is

Scott: rubbing himself as though

Frank: it's, I got Goose in here. Goosebumps. I got goosebumps in a chill. That shit. It doesn't fuck me up like it used to. It doesn't

Scott: fuck me up like I've seen it a long time, but I don't think those special effects really hold up the way they did when, when that movie came out.

So I, I need to watch it again. It's been a long time. I hope

Frank: there's somebody out there holding onto a lot of memorabilia from the set in. One day they'll sell it because I've been stocking online. And I don't have a ton of money to spend on that, cuz sometimes they want, you know, and I get it. Yeah, a lot.

it. Yeah. And so I was like, [:

The doctor's son. I'm thinking it was for that character and it was probably used in a scene that they ended up not, that didn't make the final

Scott: cut or something. Yeah, maybe. I don't know. Let's watch it. Let's do it.

Frank: And then I'm gonna check the memorabilia websites again. It, see, I almost bought, uh, sketches of the space suits because they weren't just prints, they were the originals.

But again, it was one of those that was like auction only in that shit. How about, um, next time we watch. Monkeys in the fog ?

Scott: No. Okay. Um, but did, did you, uh, do you think that it's a good movie? Hellraiser. Hellraiser. It

Frank: was a good movie. I can imagine people that are a lot younger like this looks like shit. I like this.

No, I mean I'm not, There's people out there that will appreciate, but there's gonna be that they're looking, they can't look past to me the time that this was

Scott: made. And that's kind of how I've been focusing. I would like to do event Horizon cuz I think that that's, uh, a nineties horror movie that I really, really like.

And, [:

Frank: You can call it a sci-fi horror. Yeah. That's my favorite kind. That's, Oh, yeah, that's the best day that time to me. You'll sell me on every

Scott: one of 'em. If you just say Sci-fi Horror, you make a sci-fi horror video game, I'm fucking there. Dead space for life.

Mm. Isaac

Frank: Thanks everyone for joining us. For the last Video Store Clerks podcast, be sure to leave a rating and subscribe. You can find us on Twitter @LastClerks Instagram @thelastvideostoreclerks, and you can find Scott at dispatchesfromthepit.com.

Show artwork for The Last Video Store Clerks

About the Podcast

The Last Video Store Clerks
With Frank and Scott
The Last Video Store Clerks try to figure out what a good movie even is in the age of streaming. Are there still Cult Classics with no shelf to put them on? Something is missing. Former video store clerks Frank Roll and Scott Moran aim to find it. Or at least, comedy and a silver lining. What is a good movie anyway?

About your host

Profile picture for Scott Moran

Scott Moran

Former video store clerk, current sci-fi horror writer. Our copywriter, podcast editor, audio engineer, and resident bad good movie expert.